When it is and Isn’t Okay to Let your Guard Down During Sex

There’s just something about a fresh and new romance. You are at this phase where you are constantly brimming with excitement, you blush when you think of your partner, and you find yourself playing mushy songs. Your dates are romantic, you kissed a million times, but you haven’t gone all the way because you don’t know when to let your guard down. 

So how do you know when it’s time to give your favorite vibrating toy a break and jump into human-human pleasure? 

No, the universe will not give a clue by sending you notes. This is why I’m bringing you sure-shot signs that show when it is the right time to let go of your inhibitions and how to feel comfortable during sex. Let’s go!

When it is Okay to Let your Guard Down During Sex

When your Partner is your Safe Space.

Sex is all about vulnerability. And one of the instances where you are allowed to feel vulnerable is when your partner makes you feel comfortable. Does he make you feel heard? Do you feel comfortable engaging in sex talks with your partner? You can learn so much about a person by the way they talk about sex. If they make you feel safe, comfortable, and relaxed, then this is a nice sign that you can go all the way to have sex with them. 

When you have Communicated your Sexual Desires.

Be clear with your partner about your expectations before you let your guard down. If you want your relationship to become exclusive, tell your partner about it. If you are just out to have a good time, you can say, “this doesn’t have to mean anything other than sex” Be casual about it. You don’t have to deliver a lengthy speech about your five-year plan before communicating clearly.

They Make you Feel Wanted.

I believe that you should never be with anyone who doesn’t make you feel like you are the best thing ever. Because if you’ve ever dated someone who makes you feel like you are the sexiest woman they’ve ever met, then you shouldn’t accept anything less. Plus, sex feels super good when you know how to feel comfortable during sex and you are not self-conscious.

You Want to Have Sex.

There’s always so much external pressure around the best time for sex. And I can’t blame you if you have waring voices in your head every time you want to have sex. However, you should let your guard down when you sincerely want to enjoy and experience the pleasures of sex. You know yourself better than anyone. That’s why you should be honest with yourself about your sexual desires. 

When they have Gained your Trust.

Is your partner a kind and respectful person? Do they follow through on their promises? Do they make you feel comfortable when you’ve done “everything but” sex. If you don’t trust them enough, don’t have sex with them.

They Respect your Boundaries.

If he respects your boundaries, that’s a huge plus! When your partner is constantly pushing you into a zone you are not ready to enter, you might want to pause.

When it is Not Okay to Let your Guard Down During Sex

It is pretty easy to come up with reasons why you should have sex with someone, especially when you are lost in the moment. I mean, it’s sex! It feels great. But there are also times I would advise that you don’t let your guard down. Like:

You Feel Forced.

If your partner is constantly pushing for sex before you are ready or comfortable, don’t let your guard down. Sex is not a joke, and you shouldn’t be sleeping with anyone if you feel coerced. A good partner will wait until you are ready.

If he’s pressuring you, then you shouldn’t let your guard down. Be with someone who truly respects you and your wishes. Never let anyone treat you like you are inferior. You are equals, and they should act like it. No one should make you do anything you don’t want to do. If you are not in the mood, your partner should get it. No means No. Period!

If you Don’t Feel Comfortable.

Don’t have sex if you are not feeling comfortable. That’s it! Why push yourself into sex that you’re not excited about if you feel low. While a relationship can’t be all thrills all the time, one completely devoid of excitement isn’t much fun to be in. 

When you’ve been together for a long time, there will be moments when your sex life is pretty quiet. But if everyday life feels like a routine, and you are always on edge around your partner, never let your guard down because sex should not be on the table. And if you feel uncomfortable with what your partner is doing, make it known, and if need be, leave!

You Feel Sex will Make him Like you More.

I’m going to be honest with you. This never works. Why worry about having sex with someone you feel you need to convince into liking you? You’ll end up with a broken heart. I can tell you that sex is always hotter and more incredible when you both can’t get enough of each other.

Your Partner Doesn’t Want Something Serious, But You Do.

If your partner is telling you something, it’s because they mean it. It is great they are upfront with you. There’s no mind game here. Don’t have sex with anyone while expecting your friends-with-benefits arrangement to turn into something serious. It might happen at times, but it is not worth banking on.

You’re Wasted.

Decisions made under the influence of alcohol don’t end well. If both of you are too many drinks deep, you shouldn’t let your guard down. You may regret having sex in the morning. Just sleep it off and see if you are still willing to go wild with each other in the morning.

You are Constantly Fighting.

Fights are normal in a relationship, but the idea is to grow into a stronger couple after every fight. Sex is not going to make your arguments go away. You will face the same issues again if you don’t address them. Waving aside your sex views can build resentment. If you are constantly fighting over the same thing, it could be a sign that it’s an issue you may not be able to overcome.

If you are constantly riding an emotional roller coaster with your partner, it is not okay to let your guard down during sex. It is easy to confuse the drama of arguments, fighting, and making up for intense passion. If you are constantly going from highs to lows, you will be better off with something more stable – or sex toys!

Your Partner is Not about Safe Sex.

Condoms are a trusted way to protect you from STDs and unwanted pregnancies. If he won’t use a condom and practice safe sex, don’t waste your time with him. Protection is essential, and they should not be making excuses about using a condom or getting tested. If they are willing to argue with you about safe sex, they are not worth the risk. 

Above all, let your instincts guide you before you let your guard down. You know yourself better than anyone. If you have the slightest doubt, why risk it? Sex is a beautiful thing. So don’t make it complicated by sleeping with someone you shouldn’t be with. Now go have fun and be safe while at it.