Tips for Couples Who Want to Explore Strap-On Play

Being nervous about trying a strap-on for the first time is completely normal. Worries mostly come from the fact that we’re not sure how to use them. This is completely normal. Using toys is much harder than your own body and can feel uncomfortable.

When it comes to this kind of play, a learning curve is completely normal. You’ll be grinding and thrusting like a porn star with communication, practice, and the right equipment. We wrote this article to help you feel more confident by giving you the best tips to get started and excel at strap-on play.

Try Different Kinds of Strap-ons

There’s no shortage of harnesses that make it possible to attach strap-ons to various body parts: chin, thigh, hand, knee, and other harnesses can augment your collection of sex toys in an unexpectedly enjoyable manner.

You might be perplexed; a thigh harness? People actually use them quite often. One partner is penetrated, and the other grinds on their leg. There is very close physical contact. Alternatively, you can use a hand harness to penetrate your partner with a dildo without your hand getting tired from having to thrust manually.

Practice Before Trying

The bed isn’t the first place you should be putting it on. Before using it for its intended purpose, take some time to get used to it. Wear it around the house, for example. It might not feel comfortable at first, so to get used to it, wear it while watching TV, doing the dishes, and doing other household tasks. Then, using it with your partner will be that much easier.

Pick up Tips From the Pros

If you’ve never used one before, check out some amateur porn videos to observe equally inexperienced people in action. You will see people getting creative. You’ll pick up on little techniques and generally make the whole thing more accessible.

Don’t watch professional actors. While their techniques look very appealing, they aren’t actually pleasurable. You’re far more likely to get an actionable takeaway from an amateur.

Control It With Your Hands

This might seem counterintuitive as the whole point of using a strap-on is to allow hands-free operation. In practice, you’ll find you can’t control the direction it goes in easily. That comes with experience but for now, use your hands. It’s far harder to manage than a real penis, so you might find something isn’t working, and it’s not hitting your partner’s spot. 

Stick With Basic Positions

We know you want to go wild, but that’s not going to happen the first few times. In the beginning, it’s best to stick with basic, comfortable positions that give you enough room to adjust the strap-on. These include missionary style, doggy style, or standing by the bed while your partner is on the edge of it. If you’re finding the toy hard to control, get your partner to ride you. Finding something that feels natural and good is often a matter of trial and error.

One of the most common pegging positions is where the receiver is down on their hands and needs. If you want to try anal sex with a strap-on dildo, this is the best way to go. The receiver gets down on all fours on the floor, couch, bed, or wherever, and the giver enters from behind. Experts also recommended lying on your stomach if you’re a novice.

Don’t Worry About Your Appearance

It’s hard not to worry about what you look like in general and even more so doing something like this. You’ll find the moves and positions that feel good don’t always look sexy. Don’t choose harnesses based on appearance. This is no time to be prioritizing aesthetic over function as the most important thing is to feel confident wearing it.

It will resemble rock climbing to an extent – it’s a harness, after all. Plus, the harness is as sexy as the person wearing it!

Communicate Before, During, After

While communication is something you probably do anyway, it can be especially useful when trying a new toy, particularly one you can’t control completely. After using a strap-on with a harness for the first time, people have shared their judgment of how deep they were going was really off. Their partner was not very satisfied as a result. The strap-on isn’t like your hand, where you can feel things. It’s important to take your time and ask your partner how things feel.

Of course, this goes for both partners. The receiver should definitely tell the giver when something doesn’t feel comfortable.

Try Thrusting

In your early days of strap-on play, you might find yourself doing less than “honorable” things, like humping pillows. This is actually a great way to see how you can roll your hips in different ways. Don’t be afraid to try grinding too. There’s more to penetration than pounding away and moving in and out. Grinding is where you roll your hips.

There’s More to Strap-on Play Than Penetration

While the main draw of strap-ons tends to be penetration, that’s not the only way of using one. There are plenty of arousing ways to put a strap-on into play. Getting and giving “blow jobs” is one of them. It will turn out to be super hot, albeit feeling silly at the beginning. You’ll start getting more and more fantastic play ideas once you begin to perceive it as “your penis.”

Don’t Forget Hygiene

As you experiment, don’t forget to follow the best hygiene practices. Never change holes—from anus to vagina or anus to mouth—without changing condoms, cleaning the toy, or using a new one.

Don’t be too Serious About It

Last but not least, strap-on play isn’t something to get too serious about. If things don’t work, laugh. When you try something for the first time, it can feel awkward and even stupid. That will eventually disappear, and you’ll be able to enjoy the pluses of the whole thing. A strap-on is meant to be a fun addition. That’s all.