Yakuza Kiwami 2: 10 Funniest Substories, Ranked

Yakuza is a wacky collection. Regardless of specializing in the prison underworld, these Sega video games are bursting with the offbeat humor discovered in lots of aspects of Japanese leisure. One of many largest examples on this space Yakuza Kiwami 2, a remake of Yakuza 2.

RELATED: Yakuza Kiwami: Funniest Substories, Ranked

Not solely is the principle narrative as quirky as followers would anticipate, however the quite a few aspect quests (or Substories) on this title rank among the many weirdest within the collection. Anybody who’s performed a Yakuza entry is aware of that is saying lots. When recounting the grand saga of protagonist Kazuma Kiryu, a lot of the story will include the ridiculous duties he will get as much as in his spare time.

10 Rags To Riches

Rags to Riches in Yakuza Kiwami 2

Typically, being a supply boy pays off. On this aspect story, a wannabe hip hop artist presents Kiryu one among his demo CDs. The Dragon of Dojima would not know what to do with the disc, however he ultimately meets an outdated man keen to take it off his arms. He, in flip, provides Kiryu a Slick Fountain Pen.

The cycle continues like this for a number of exchanges. By the top, Kiryu has himself a snazzy Swiss Watch. If all ineffective junk led to such wealthy rewards, the collection might have a few more plot holes on its hands.

9 The Man Who Cannot Sing

The Man Who Can't Sing in Yakuza Kiwami 2

Apparently, these frequenting the Cabaret Grand are monumental snobs. Exterior this in style membership stands a avenue performer, whereas a heckler consistently berates him for his music. Relatively than merely stroll away, the man will get proper within the singer’s face and perpetually lambasts him. Somebody’s received somewhat time on his arms.

After Kiryu beats up this pathetic excuse for a bully, the musician is exceedingly grateful. He even guarantees to play a tribute track for his savior if he sees him once more. It feels good to assist the little man, particularly since he sings better than any Yakuza character.

8 Lend A Claw

Lend A Claw in Yakuza Kiwami 2

Upon getting into Membership Sega in Sotenbori, Kiryu meets a man requesting his assist with one of many native claw machines. He needs to win a prize for his girlfriend. Kiryu obliges, nevertheless it seems that he retains successful the unsuitable toy.

RELATED: Yakuza Series: Best Minigames (& The Worst)

After a number of makes an attempt to woo her with trinkets, the man reveals that she left him. The story does have a silver lining, although, as a bunch of fairly onlookers are impressed by the seemingly unparalleled claw expertise of this poor soul. It is laborious to know which is sadder: the truth that the man thought this is able to work, or the concept he is someway higher off for losing a lot time on these rigged clunkers.

7 A Whirlwind Filth Tour

Whirlwind Dirt Tour in Yakuza Kiwami 2

For this little apart, Kazu-chan goes from yakuza to tour information. Consuming on the Kanrai restaurant places the protagonist in touch with Il Yu-Jin, who claims to be a well-known Korean pop singer. He needs to soak up the sights of Kamurocho, and nominates Kiryu as his information. He’d have been better off asking Ichiban, however Kiryu’s all he is received.

It is farcical sufficient that gamers need to escort this man previous his ravenous followers, however a few of the locations he needs to go are simply as random as one would anticipate from a Yakuza title. This quest is definitely a part of a sequence, which takes the pair to a nightclub, a drag bar, and a ramen restaurant. Who is aware of what impression this leaves on Kamurocho’s tourism enterprise?

6 We’re All In This Collectively

We're All In This Together in Yakuza Kiwami 2

Weep for the long run on this aspect quest. A gaggle of Kamurocho college students are having bother discovering regular work, and ultimately resolve to go in for a joint job interview. They have to not need the place an excessive amount of, since one among them drops their Job Seeker’s Amulet.

Kiryu is sweet sufficient to deliver this merchandise to the group, however this inadvertently makes him the stand-in for its absent member. Gamers should now reply a collection of questions to finish the search. That is proper, a seasoned mobster should sit by an earthly job interview with a bunch of Younger Turks. The trouble might need been price it if it allowed Kiryu to make use of one of the job roles from Yakuza: Like a Dragon. Alas, no.

5 Dwelling The American Dream

Living The American Dream in Yakuza Kiwami 2

Nothing just like the good-old US of A. An opportunity encounter on the Yoshida Batting Middle leads Kiryu into a contest with an American baseball participant. It seems that is Bob “Dandy” Johnson (possibly related to Miracle Johnson from Yakuza 0), and he challenges Kazu-chan to hit 5 dwelling runs from his ten pitches.

Succeeding grants the protagonist an autographed baseball, clearly a treasure he is at all times wished. It is solely afterwards that Kiryu learns that Dandy’s spouse is definitely the crew’s batting coach. As a reward, she imparts her data onto gamers within the type of a brand new weapon talent.

4 Welcome To The Trendy Age

Welcome to the Modern Age in Yakuza Kiwami 2

Consistent with the theme of gift-giving, Makoto Date needs a modem for his daughter on this aspect story in order that she will be able to have sooner web velocity. A avenue salesman claims to have the very best modem round without spending a dime, however Date volunteers Kiryu to attempt it first. Sadly, nothing is free.

Since he was dumb sufficient to present his cellphone quantity and e-mail, Kiryu is quickly bombarded with messages concerning the dozens of charges he’ll incur as a part of the contract. It is the equal of a type of annoying on-line adverts that say, “You’ve got simply gained 1,000,000 {dollars}.” On the upside, a minimum of the individuals behind these scams do not ship thugs to implement their swindling schemes. Sadly, it’s not the last time Kiryu falls victim to this newfangled tech.

3 Operation Panty Bait

Operation Panty Bait in Yakuza Kiwami 2

Some victims get whacked in an alley, and others get their panties stolen. That is proper, a perverted criminal goes round pilfering panties for some unknown goal. After relationship Koyuki 3 times, Kiryu has an opportunity to catch this elusive thief.

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The plan entails setting bait on a Sotenbori bench. When a random businessman lastly picks up the panties, he defensively denies any wrongdoing. Smacking some sense into him will conclude the search and finish the intensive manhunt. Thus, peace is restored to ladies’s drawers.

2 In The Title Of Artwork

In The Name Of Art in Yakuza Kiwami 2

A Sotenbori stroll quickly turns right into a flattering proposition. A person named Mizuno needs Kiryu to pose as a male mannequin, as he appears to have sufficient “meat on his bones.” Gamers then meet the photoshoot’s director: a ‘roided-out cueball in a speedo. Confronted by this sight, Kiryu naturally tries to depart.

Those that stick round could make the stoic warrior strike all method of flamboyant poses. The entire episode provides off the identical odd vibes as the gym in Final Fantasy VII Remake. It is not the primary or final time the Dragon of Dojima embarrasses himself, however a minimum of he will get to beat up the 2 guys and earns a brand new mobile phone for his troubles.

1 Be My Child

What begins as a congratulatory go to to a membership rapidly spirals into one thing sinister. Upon getting into, Kiryu meets a scantily-clad lady who asks how he needs to be fed. He promptly backs away, revealing a whole constructing stuffed with grown males being handled like infants by their “mommies.”

It is a well-rehearsed routine for this institution, however that does not make it any much less stunning. Even within the pantheon of sexual gimmicks, as well as the larger Yakuza series, that is simply weird. “Be My Child” is a type of online game moments the place gamers marvel how the builders thought it up, and what precisely they have been pondering on the time.

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