The “Wagatha Christie” case involving Coleen Rooney and Rebekah Wade is as avoidable as it is embarrassing, writes Amana Walker
Rebekah Wade and Coleen Rooney were involved in a very public argument that has now reached the court (Image: Mark Hall / NationalWorld / Getty)
It’s so easy to make, isn’t it? Someone makes you angry and you get revenge. It is only right and fair that you speak your mind. When the words come out of your mouth, they are said and done.
You may feel better right away and glad you got rid of it, maybe even proud that you stand up for what you believe in while giving that person a taste of their own evil medicine in the process. job done.
Just when the words are “in print” doesn’t mean it’s done.
And when those words are on social media and potentially seen by millions, as in the Rebekah Vardy vs. Coleen Rooney case, it’s far from done. The words, the story, the outrage, and the embarrassment spread like wildfire, allowing everyone and their dog to jump in and have their say.
Sure, this is a high-profile case of WAGs between two seemingly feuding footballer wives who, along with their famous husbands, have a huge following – but what if that happened to you? What if the words you wrote on social media exploded?
I think there are a few lessons we can all learn from this case of “Wagatha Christie” (as Colleen was known).
The Great Control: Think before you speak/type
OK, this is probably the hardest lesson, the part that gets us into action and firing. It’s about controlling the seemingly uncontrollable.
I’m talking about thinking before we start our words. Hold back, pause to consider what is really at stake. Is the comment really about you, or is it more about the person you were addressing? This is the trap we fall into; We assume it’s all about us when we’ve often just been at the end of someone’s frustration, bad day, envy, or anger. Behind that comment is probably someone who is unhappy, dissatisfied, or maybe even resentful—it’s their problem, not yours.
That still doesn’t make it right, and the comment still pissed you off, but if you think first you might save yourself the trouble of replying. Often the stronger position is to ignore it and move on.
Your answer is your reputation
If you feel like you need to react, then at least think about how to do it. Why? Because when emotions are running high, we can’t wait to get our words out, and we tend to use the words that reflect our current emotional strength. Whatever we say and the words we choose say something about us.
So does your reaction look as bad (if not worse) — or do you look like someone rational, humble, and personable? Your reputation will be built or damaged by your response.
Escape or escalation?
What if the person making the comments doesn’t walk away? Once you’ve provided an answer, you may find yourself in a rapidly escalating situation where the “argument” becomes more sarcastic, spiteful, and personal. where do you go from there You have two options: You can stop reacting and run away from the situation – by doing so you allow yourself to say “enough is enough” and you refuse to give it any more time. If the comments are on social media, you can block and report the person. By doing this, you will help protect yourself and others who may receive nasty comments and trolls.
Or you can choose to stand your ground (for whatever reason) and decide it’s worth fighting for. In that case, it’s worth asking someone for their objective take on the situation – just in case you’re so caught up in it that you lose track of where you are – and who you are. Losing credibility is so easy – in person and on social media – and you can’t afford it when it comes to a court case.
Consider the consequences
Everything has consequences. Leaving a negative conversation will relieve you of hurt, but will no doubt reflect on whether you did the right thing (you probably did).
As you continue and it builds, you’ll become more outraged, more determined, and on your way to something more serious.
Either way, weigh the consequences for you, the people around you who you see involved, and who will inevitably become involved – and the cost in terms of time, money, and emotional distress.
Some things are worth the pain, some aren’t – and only you – a rational you – can decide.
At times like this, as many people say in the Vardy v. Rooney case, there are bigger and more important things in life than this. Having perspective is a grounder.
fix the damage
Often the best way to repair damage and move on with your reputation intact is the hardest way of all: apologizing.
Yes, you shouldn’t apologize, I hear you say – and that may be true. But you can apologize for saying the things you said. You can also apologize to the people who were affected. An apology doesn’t mean the other data subject is right and you’re wrong, it means you exhibited that behavior you are not.
You can agree, disagree and draw a line under the episode (as Colleen Rooney reportedly attempted in the Wagatha Christie case). Bad feelings have a habit of festering and staying with us if not resolved, and doing your part to repair damage helps you let go of any baggage and move on. And that has to be a personal “win”.
Whatever the outcome of the Vardy vs. Rooney case – and whether you find it compelling or boring – the dangers of social media remain with us. But we can’t blame social media, can we?
The danger lies in human behavior and in our ability to control ourselves. That needs some practice now.
https://www.nationalworld.com/opinion/wagatha-christie-what-we-can-all-learn-amana-walker-lessons-dispute-3693749 What we can all learn from the Wagatha Christie case