Wait, So Are Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck Doing a Whole Meta-Tabloid Thing Now?

For years and years and years and years, celebrities have been flocking to yachts, and paparazzi have been flocking to the briny depths through which these yachts motor. And it’s been actually enjoyable to observe by means of lengthy lenses: Leonardo DiCaprio on boats earlier than and after the Oscars; Rihanna on a distinct boat some place else; the Kardashian-Jenners boating collectively and aside. Earlier this month, Olivia Wilde and Harry Types have been kissing on a ship. Alex Rodriguez is on a ship proper now as we converse, in all probability.

And now, the factor has occurred. The factor which the previous twenty years in yachting felt prefer it was main as much as all alongside: Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck have been on a yacht this weekend in St.-Tropez. And higher but: There are some solely barely grainy, well-framed images of Affleck together with his hand on Lopez’s butt whereas she’s mendacity face down, similar to he did the final time they dated, in her 2002 music video for “Jenny From the Block.” 

In wider lens pictures printed on the Daily Mail, there are clearly crew members alongside them, one in all whom has a big, professional-grade digital camera. Celebrities of this degree are all the time surrounded by no less than some workers, so this isn’t uncommon. Nevertheless it appears they’re as much as one thing right here, no? There may be one compelling concept on the market that they’re recreating the “Jenny From the Block” music video. Caissie St. Onge, Busy Philipps’s former showrunner and present podcast cohost, put forth this thesis in an Instagram publish:

This can be a conspiracy concept I can get on board with. It’s far more enjoyable than Ted Cruz is the Zodiac killer or the moon touchdown by no means occurred or Jeff Bezos is not an alien or a reptile. The watch from the video, the pictures of the couple on a balcony and thru a hedge, Affleck’s hand placement. It’s all gotta add as much as one thing and that one thing has gotta be a recreation of their 2002 music video for “Jenny From the Block” proper in time for its twentieth anniversary. 

Pay attention, would it not be higher if these two have been simply doing all of this only for them? For no motive however as a result of? And wouldn’t or not it’s even higher in the event that they have been executing throwback gestures to mess with us? Opposite to St. Onge, I actually assume so. I might haven’t any selection however to present it up for 2 true masters, who’re making a sort of Sleep No Extra experimental theater, however on the world stage. There they’re reflecting our reflections of them again at us, in order that we’d see ourselves and our unusual obsessions within the clear, blinding mild of day for maybe the primary time in our complete lives. That’s how negging works! Run us over with a dump truck and spit on us, Bennifer!

Look, no matter it’s, we are going to fortunately take no matter content material these two are giving us. Within the phrases of one other yacht lover, cousin Greg from acclaimed tv present Succession, “Whether it is to be stated, so it’s.” Now, we sit again and await the scene the place Affleck is pumping gasoline, and hope that no matter these two are making collectively, if they’re in truth making one thing, that it consists of commentary on the commentary on the commentary. The circle of content material should proceed to show.

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