The Million and One Questions I Had Watching Amazon’s Girlboss Cinderella

On Friday, September 3, Cinderella runs onto Amazon Prime Video—sans one glass slipper, after all. Written and directed by Kay Cannon of Pitch Good and Blockers fame, this Cinderella iteration has changed the normal stage model’s (attractive) Rodgers and Hammerstein rating and fairytale storyline with mash-up pop hits and an up to date, feminist narrative. Its glitzy solid is led by pop star Camila Cabello because the titular “Ella,” and contains family names like Idina Menzel, Pierce Brosnan, Minnie Driver, and Billy Porter, giving his tackle a gender-bended fairy godmother who goes by Fab G. The roll-out for the movie has included every part from Corden violently hip thrusting throughout a flash mob to Cabello’s unusual pronunciation of the title “Chad Michael Murray.” Naturally, I had no alternative however to look at the girlbossification of Cinderella in full.

I’ve to be sincere: I used to be biased towards this movie earlier than I hit play, largely as a result of the 1997 Disney Cinderella made-for-TV film starring Brandy and Whitney Houston is one in every of my favourite films of all time. (Should you do not consider me, read this.) However even the most important Cabello-stan would depart this movie—an unholy amalgamation of Glee, Hamilton, and Bridgerton—with numerous questions. Not “Why are you down there?”—extra like, what the hell is happening?

With out additional adieu, listed here are the million and one questions I had whereas watching Amazon’s Cinderella:

By Kerry Brown/Amazon Studios.

The opening of the movie establishes that everybody in Ella’s kingdom is sure by conventional values, and that these conventional values are dangerous. However why on earth would Cannon and co. select a rousing rendition of “Rhythm Nation”—an authorized bop from the indeniable queen of pop—to characterize society’s ills and a distressing lack of range of thought? Who would not need to be a member of the Rhythm Nation?

What yr is that this, for that matter? The place are we? Is {that a} handicap rail on the steps of that cottage?

What occurred to Cinderella’s father? Appears like we glided proper previous his premature demise, proper?

If Cinderella—excuse me, Ella—is all the time “besmirched with filth,” why does Cabello appear to be she walked straight out of a Neutregena business? How soiled does one get designing fancy clothes, anyway?

Idina Menzel’s evil stepmother has a reputation, and, unsurprisingly, it is Vivian. Why are girls named Vivian inherently evil in tv and movie (see additionally: Legally Blonde)? We’d like extra constructive Vivian illustration within the leisure panorama!

By Kerry Brown/Amazon Studios.

Why are the evil-step sisters all the time low-key the most effective a part of a Cinderella retelling? (RIP, Natalie Deselle Reid).

Is Cabello’s lip-syncing off, or is my web being bizarre? (Reply: Each.)

Why are Cinderella’s helper rats waltzing to her Cabello co-written “I Need” tune, “Million to One”? The tune is clearly not in 3/4.

Who does Cabello’s Cinderella singing voice remind me of? (Reply: Melania Guidice, of “Waking Up in the Morning” viral TikTok fame.)

In the event that they had been going to get a man who appeared and appeared like a British Shawn Mendes to be the Prince (Nicholas Galitzine), why did not they simply get Cabello’s precise boyfriend, Shawn Mendes? Was he not tech avail?

Which Hamilton callback did casting attend to search out this rapping city crier?

Why is the Depraved Stepmother’s dwelling adorned like an Airbnb in Lake Tahoe?

Why, pricey god, are we nonetheless utilizing gospel choirs within the shallowest of how to again up white soloists for a one-off joke? Can we both use this system in a extra significant or nuanced means, or skip it totally and let these proficient folks go pursue extra worthwhile tasks?

Does anybody actually want to listen to the tune “Anyone To Love” in a film or TV present ever once more? Bohemian Rhapsody received the Oscar. Sufficient is sufficient.

Was there, maybe, a extra artistic or subtler strategy to make the movie’s overarching level about misogyny and sexism then having Gwen, the princess who desires to be queen, say, “You’re actually not going to let me have a seat on the desk?” | The Million and One Questions I Had Watching Amazon’s Girlboss Cinderella


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