SantaCon Returns to NYC With Drunk Frat Bros Looking for ‘Sex With an Elf’

Most of us would admit to a few “good things” about the pandemic. Life slow down a little bit. We walked more or spent less. We can shower at lunchtime – or even take a nap – and our boss is no wiser. New Yorkers enjoy one particular privilege: cancel SantaCon, the creepy bar that annually collects data where about 30,000 drunken Santas (mostly from the bridge and tunnel crowd) descend on their city. We blacked out, started fighting and peeing anywhere but in the toilet. This event, like so many others, happened last year, much to the chagrin of some of us.

But a sign placed on the subway at the beginning of the week signal its dreaded return: The MTA will ban alcohol on commuter trains like the MetroNorth and Long Island RailRoad all day on Saturday, SantaCon day. Not even Omicron can dampen the frenetic holiday spirit: SantaCon has risen from the dead. As a sign carried by someone dressed as a cockroach on the morning of the crawl bar said (or threatened): “You can’t kill SantaCon.”

Alaina Demopoulos

SantaCon hit town on Saturday, and despite significantly fewer crowds, the bro-y bacchanalia party continued. This will be the 23rd year New York is hosting adults in Party City costumes drinking into oblivion in the name of charity. (The required $13 donation, to a range of nonprofits, guarantees access to all participating bars. Representatives for SantaCon did not respond to a list of emailed inquiries. )

From Brooklyn to Manhattan, I find my subway car slowly filling up with Santas or Mrs. Claus — and then becoming overwhelmed with them at the more posh stops in Williamsburg and the East Village. We headed to Midtown, just a few blocks south of Times Square, where the organizers danced, talked, and put on their coolest performance. “All I Want for Christmas Is You” for the crowd below to enjoy.

“Whose town is that? Santa’s Town! ‘ chanted partygoers, many holding beer in paper bags or packs of six packs of White Claws or Trulys. A group of men from the Yonkers, who named them Dylan, John and Jeff, stood in Christmas sweaters sipping glasses of cider. They were cousins, and it was Jeff’s tenth year at Santacon, even though Dylan and John were newcomers.

“I didn’t do anything last year; it sucks,” said Jeff. “Being back, it’s been great. I was looking forward to this event last year, so we have to make up for it this year. How many cans are there? [of beer] have you got so far? “

I replied I have not. I just got to SantaCon and other than that, it’s already 10am. How many did they have? “Too much!” they answered in unison, then explained that “not much, just about four or five”.

Alaina Demopoulos

The plan, they say, is to have fun, follow the crowd and stay out all night. I asked them how it was possible to stay the whole night while drinking 5 beers before noon. “It’s our only day out, so we’re going to bed tonight too,” Jeff said. Dylan, a construction worker, agrees: “If you want to date guys, you have to get up with men.

Just then, a haughty Santa was speaking to the crowd. “SantaCon is a little noisy, but that’s not the point,” he assured the group. “It’s Christmas, it’s love.” Then he came up with “Six F’s of SantaCon”: no sex with children, police, bar staff, New York City in general, Santa’s charity mission, and demand for vaccines. please — new for 2021 —. (You must be motivated to participate.)

The actor explained that children in New York can get excited when they see all the Santas stumbling across the aisle and falling onto the sidewalk, and he urged them to treat the kids one by one. respectful way. Well, sort of. “When a kid sees you,” the actress said, “Love that kid!” Another Santa quickly whispered to him, and he changed direction. “I mean, be nice to that kid. No collision [them]. ”

Alaina Demopoulos

A trio of men from Long Island, who was warned to be still drunk from the night before, said SantaCon’s return was “long overdue.”

“It’s like riding a bicycle, if you fall, you come back,” said one. “It was the best day ever. It’s only one day, so [haters should] pass it. Their advice to any newbie: “It’s a marathon, not a sprint.” They’re drinking beer, but say they’ll be in the water as the day goes on.

There are a lot of drunk guys out there, but I wanted to see what some women had to say about their willingness to spend time with older – or current – boyfriends. Haley, a Seton Hall University student who stood next to Sarah, said: “For now, with my friends, I feel safe. “Most of the time, when I’m with drunk men, it’s like shit. I just hope the boys are okay to keep it under control. ”

And the whole COVID thing? Most Santas think about last year’s problem. They cited the strict vaccine policy as a reason to feel comfortable not wearing a mask in a crowd. “It was a little bit related to Omicron, but we were planning on coming,” said Hannah, an Upper East Sider. “We’re going to put the booster to the test.”

Hannah and her friend Emily describe themselves as “kids in love,” so they feel at home in a sea of ​​Twisted Tea bottles and excessive prom curls. “We could last all day,” says Emily. “We are not drunk enough now. My dream is to be drunk one day, and to be able to meet Santa the love of my life.”

I wish them well and turn my attention back to the actress, who is currently pretending to kiss a friend under the giant camel’s toe. Soon, a massive stream of conga begins, and after that ceremonial dance, Santas are splashed across the city, encouraged to visit any of the bars on the list.

Alaina Demopoulos

Some lines are more deterrent than others — a nearby line, called Margaritaville, fill up quickly. I ran into an Australian expat named Adam who was accompanied by his friends, his partner and his 5 year old son, who was queuing into a bar and glued to a video game. death. “He’s allowed in the bar as long as it’s before 7 p.m.,” said Adam’s partner. “He comes to bottomless brunch with us all the time. He is a seasoned drinker.” The child does not look up from his device when the adult laughs.

SantaCon’s Instagram is constantly updating on what bars are coming next and where they are available. I found myself outside a rooftop bar near Penn station called Lucy’s Cantina. There, I met a man in a Santa suit, who introduced himself as “Chauncy”. When I asked if that was really his real name, he said, “that’s what people usually call me”.

Chauncy is a 23-year-old from upstate New York attending his first SantaCon this year. “I was ready to start and I had a good group of people with me,” he said. “I’m not drunk yet. I just showed up. The goal is to have a good, fun time and let the good times pass. I want to maximize this opportunity. I just want to win the day, at the end of the day, I want to win the day.”

Even a SantaCon-phobe like me had to admit that two women dressed as elves named Liv and Grace arrived in rather skinny outfits. They wear coordinated outfits with super high hats, brown leather jackets and green and red tights. “We decided on this last night,” Liv said. “We set our alarms at 7:30 so we can wake up and grab our hats and socks and literally buy all these items. I’m Irish, so I like this. Most people are enamored when drunk, that’s my experience. People are more open, especially when everyone looks crazy.”

Liv graciously gave me even her homemade screwdriver and to start the fight “if it can help make your writing better.” I declined, because I was running on an empty stomach and the day seemed chaotic enough.

Alaina Demopoulos

Further down my journey, I observed a clean gingerbread man holding a dog.

In the East Village, a popular Tex Mex restaurant called Yellow Rose hung a missionary picture on the window: “NO SANTAS!!”

“Sorry Santa, you’re not welcome here today” read captions on Yellow Rose’s Instagram page. “Any other day is fine but please, not today.” While choosing some banh tet for breakfast, I asked the hostess how the morning was.

“I had to turn some people down, and they weren’t satisfied,” she said lithely.

A few blocks away at Everyman Espresso, a bartender said to me, “I saw a guy stumbling around at 9:45 a.m. this morning and I thought, ‘Oh my god, do I have to punch an old man today? Christmas it? “”. we showed a Santa-free perimeter around her cafe.

By 2 p.m., things were completely intoxicating. Apparently there were more elves and drunken snowmen, and I witnessed at least two scenes of Mr and Mrs. Claus fighting in the street. “Damn Santacon!” An annoyed pedestrian shouted as he tried to cross the street and face the red and green fence. Daily mail reported that the NYPD broke up some Santa fights, and several videos of such skirmishes have floated on social media.

“Can I talk to you about SantaCon?” I asked a Santa Claus. “Can I talk to you about how I have to pee?” he retorted.

Outside CVS, a Santa named Will drank a beer while his friend, who had nicknamed me “Santa’s Sex Slave,” drank a TikTok. They both look vaguely Internet-famous, or maybe it’s just their prank. “It’s epic, man,” Will said. “We are like a couple of deep beers, maybe a little deeper. My hopes and dreams for SantaCon? Probably to have sex with an elf. ”

Then Will said to me, “This interview is over,” as if I who said weird things.

Nearby were two men who completely gave their real names – Jimbo and Skidmark – and a woman named Zooey. After some controversy, they agreed that they were “7 out of 10” on the drunkenness scale. “I will lose power at the end of the day,” says Zooey. “I’m pretty close.”

“I want to keep Christ for Christmas,” says Skidmark.

“If I could be serious, COVID would hit us a lot,” said Jimbo. “So to get SantaCon back, it’s just a little bit — it’s not like it was a few years ago — the same kind of energy, that’s going to be my goal for today.”

Then Jimbo introduced me to Jeff, the Christmas tree he carried around from bar to bar.

As the crowd happily leaves, all require each other’s support to continue like the sentient blocks of Jenga, a young girl riding on her bicycle. “There are too many Santas!” she shouted to her mother, a classic Eastern villager in a leather jacket, who beamed with pride. “There are too many Santas in the East Village and too many Santas in Midtown!” Then the kid sped off, presumably on his way to a much cooler party.