Photo: Savage x Fenty
Here, people always say that Rihanna is the pope, and no disrespect to my colleague, but maybe she really is Santa Claus. Consider: Rihanna loves giving gifts in public – nice abs for elves, One Skincare line in the way of a pool party, One little kiss in a big hat – even if it means breaking and entering. And with the holiday period ahead of us, Rihanna naturally has something festive and vibrant up her sleeves. It’s both cozy and sensible and a little dangerous, real and really, really not. Want to know what gift Rihanna gave you this year?
Of course you’ll love it – those are ugly plaid pajamas. How does she know? (Santa Claus always knows.)
The pajamas mentioned – Tied Up Tartan Open Back PJ Pant – as part of the recent Savage x Fenty drop. They come in sizes XS to 3X and are extremely reasonably priced at $14. You can have them in Pink Canterbury Plaid or Blue Aruba Canterbury Plaid, and you really can’t go wrong because your butt will be skewed out. Such is the daring genius of the garment industry; From the front, people assume you’re wearing your regular pajamas, but then you turn around and haha, where did your pants go? Why is your butt fissure so freely exposed to the elements, notwithstanding the drawstring dangling between your cheeks? What’s going on here?
Let’s say what you’re going to do with these pants (so flimsy!), but I’m pretty sure that, aside from having a good sense of humour, Rihanna hopes you can have sex this holiday season even when it’s outside too cold to be naked. Your Santa just wants you to be comfortable.
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