It struck me (I spent about 35 seconds googling it) that there are seven wonders of the world, the youngest of which has been around for 91 years. How exciting and historic, therefore, to be alive at the unveiling of what will surely be the eighth: Teresa Giudice’s hair at her own wedding.
Listen, I don’t have pretty hair. I’m not particularly fashionable or up to date. But I know enough to know that Teresa Giudice’s wedding hairstyle is remarkable.
Like every bride, I hope Teresa Giudice becomes a cast member The real housewives of New JerseyOn her big day, she felt beautiful. She married Luis “Louie” Ruelas on Saturday in East Brunswick, New Jersey. She looked beautiful. I know this because there are more photos of this wedding than of me in my entire life.
It was perhaps the most photographed and followed on social media wedding ever. Sometimes celebrities get married and forbid guests from documenting the occasion to keep things intimate and private. In other cases, you are a New Jersey housewifeand the WiFi at your wedding venue is struggling with so many iPhones trying to upload Instagram Stories at the same time.
Thanks to these Good Samaritans, we now have these photos for eternity. How can you even describe Teresa Giudice’s wedding hairstyle? How did Shakespeare begin his greatest works? How did God begin the Bible?
Who knew hair could look like this? A tiara/crown situation grows into a bulbous bouffant, the most powerful bump-it since Snooki first arrived on the Jersey Shore. An order of Costco-sized combs is believed to have been sourced for the occasion, teasing them towards the clouds. Aquanet share prices have reached record levels.
The hair is curled and wavy in an intriguing manner. I’ve never seen anything comparable. It appears trimmed as if to resemble rosettes or perhaps a glamorous artichoke. It looks soft and crunchy at the same time. I didn’t know hair could be spherical, but here we are.
From there, a cascade of highlighted extensions “flow,” fabulous strands of ramen noodles that are cooked to the perfect, flavorful texture. It’s mesmerizing from every angle. If someone had asked me, “What will Teresea Giudice’s hair look like at her much-touted second wedding?” That’s exactly what I would have described, but I never could have imagined it.
There’s obviously interest in Giudice’s wedding among Bravo fans. Many of her relatives, including her brother Joe Gorga and sister-in-law Melissa Gorga, were reportedly absent. In their place were well over a dozen Real housewives Past and present, a blessed population of women desperate to capitalize on the event for social media klout who also happened to witness this absolute hairstyle marvel.
For us, few things have been as monumental as the unveiling of Teresa’s wedding hairstyle. Andy Cohen himself teased a big scoop – an interview with the stylist behind the look –in a Monday morning tweet, accompanied by a cartoon illustration in which the hair threatens to completely envelop Giudice’s body. The big news: Reportedly, 1,500 bobby pins were used to achieve the look. Teresa Giudice’s wedding hairstyle is one of the greatest feats of American engineering.
It goes without saying that hair has been the talk of the town on Twitter all weekend, and the excitement hasn’t stopped.
What’s special about this babble is the very specific tone that really only exists in Housewives fandom. Yes, of course people are shady in the way they talk about hair, but it also comes from a place of pure love and celebration. The biggest thing that could have happened at Teresa Giudice’s wedding is that she has a completely overdone and absurd hairstyle. Without them, she would look kind of naked. We are so grateful that she went for this look. She looks perfect, like her specific version of beautiful.
Sharing the viral attention she’s getting over her hair right now is like being invited to the wedding ourselves. Sure, we’ll see the actual wedding when Bravo airs the special, which is said to have been filmed at the event this weekend. But that was our actual ceremony. We wish Teresa and Louie all the best and happiness in the world as they continue to discover hairpins on the floor over the next seven to 12 months.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/real-housewives-star-teresa-giudices-wedding-hair-is-a-marvel-of-the-universe?source=articles&via=rss Real Housewives star Teresa Giudice’s wedding hair is a wonder of the universe