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Nikki Glaser on the One Ann Coulter Roast Joke She Regrets

Nikki Glaser was telling a particularly soiled joke throughout the taping for her most up-to-date Netflix particular Bangin’ when she noticed her father within the crowd.

“I used to be in the midst of my set speaking about guzzling cum or simply one thing filthy and I see my dad’s head within the viewers,” Glaser tells me on this week’s episode of The Last Laugh podcast. “And my dad and mother have seen every thing I do, they know what I discuss, I don’t maintain again in any respect. And it was the primary time that I used to be like, that might be actually onerous to listen to for those who had been a mum or dad. He most likely doesn’t need to hear this in any respect!”

If this self-described lack of “empathy” has sometimes sophisticated her private life, it has been a serious asset for Nikki Glaser’s aspect hustle as one of many best celebrity roasters of all-time. She first broke by by taking Ann Coulter to the mat on the Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe in 2016 earlier than following that up with even more durable jokes on the subsequent roasts of Bruce Willis and Alec Baldwin.

“It’s allowed me to be so brazen on stage and say issues that most individuals wouldn’t,” she says of the emotional “superpower” that has turned her right into a comedy famous person. “As a result of I’m not fascinated with how folks will react.”

Beneath is an edited excerpt from our dialog and you may hearken to the entire thing—together with why she wished to host FBoy Island, and what to anticipate from her subsequent hour-long particular—proper now by subscribing to The Last Laugh on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, Stitcher, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts and be the primary to listen to new episodes when they’re launched each Tuesday.

The primary [roast] you probably did was the Rob Lowe roast in 2016 and I keep in mind it largely for Ann Coulter’s horrible bomb. Trying again at it, you actually went at her I believe tougher than anybody else on that stage.

I keep in mind Amy Schumer was actually in my nook for that set and he or she was somebody that I had helped with jokes earlier than. And so she actually was like, it is a large alternative to inform this lady what all of us need to inform her. She’s really evil. And so I simply went to a spot of, like, I actually need to go as onerous on her as doable. As a result of for the primary time at a roast, she actually deserves it. We roasted Donald Trump before, however we didn’t know the way a lot all of us would hate him. There’s hardly ever been somebody there that’s that loathed and deserving of being loathed and is aware of what they’re doing and has made a personality that’s evil on function as a result of they’re a tragic particular person inside.

It was my first roast, so I made some selections that I didn’t like. The joke that actually broke my profession open—I don’t remorse it, I suppose, however I type of do—was the one which was like, “The one particular person you’ll ever make joyful is the Mexican who digs your grave.” I didn’t like that I stated “Mexican.” I look again on that joke and that’s making me somebody who assumes that Mexicans dig graves, which I suppose is a stereotypical factor that you might put in a joke. However everybody liked that joke and was like, “That’s so imply to her!” And I really feel like that joke is extra imply to Mexicans for no fucking purpose, saying that that’s all they do. And that it’s a foregone conclusion that it’s going to be a Mexican and clearly Mexicans hate you due to your immigration beliefs. That joke is all the time quoted again to me. And I cringe after I hear it, as a result of if I had been Mexican, I might have been like, “This fucking bitch, we don’t want her to talk for us.” It’s an excellent joke and it wasn’t written by me and I took it on proper earlier than I went on stage. I added it to my set as a result of why not? However I already had that type of spidey-sense of, like, this doesn’t really feel good.

It was additionally the primary time that I had skilled this factor the place I write all these imply jokes after which I get there and I overlook that they’re going to be sitting there after I say it. I actually overlook. And I keep in mind being on the pink carpet earlier than that and getting requested, “So how do you’re feeling about saying these jokes to those folks?” And I used to be like, oh my god, I had not even considered it. And what, that’s my superpower, is that this lack of ability to consider the scariest factor till it’s about to occur and it’s too late.

I ponder if that helps clarify why you’re so good on the roasts.

I believe it does. It’s just like the concern of heights that that Free Solo man has. I simply don’t have it on the subject of offending folks. But in addition after I discover out I’ve offended folks, Matt, I’m so upset and need to discover them and proper the incorrect. I don’t get pleasure from offending folks. Individuals assume I like making folks really feel awkward. And I hate it! So the Rob Lowe roast was the night time that I acquired to show myself to Comedy Central. And I really feel actually assured about what I did and I labored my fucking ass off. And I used to be just a little harm by the jokes that they stated about me. And I didn’t count on that, however simply as I don’t have empathy for the particular person on the opposite aspect of my jokes, I didn’t put together myself in any respect for what could be stated about me.

You weren’t fascinated with that?

No! And thank god, as a result of I suppose it was higher within the second. However I don’t know, I normally get wildly depressed after these as a result of I’m like, “I’ve to get injections in my face in order that they gained’t say that subsequent time?” After which they’ll make enjoyable of you having injections in your face, so you’ll be able to’t win.

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Comic Nikki Glaser at The Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe at Sony Studios on Aug. 27, 2016, in Los Angeles, California.

Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty

Yeah, I talked to Natasha Leggero about how there’s solely a handful of ways in which folks roast feminine comedians.

Outdated, slut, not humorous. That’s it.

And also you type of transfer from “slut” to “previous” because the years go on.

Yeah! And “previous slut” turns into like, gross, nobody desires you, how pathetic is that? And it’s humorous, at these roasts, I am going first on a regular basis. So any jokes about me not being humorous simply don’t work as a result of I simply killed. And I like that. There was one time the place somebody actually spectacular was up there and I used to be like, I can’t look ahead to them to even simply say my title. And I keep in mind I simply so undoubtedly killed that there was a joke on the teleprompter that was about me not being humorous and so they simply go, “Truly, simply skip that one.” So I have a tendency to listen to jokes about me wanting like a male to feminine transsexual, or me wanting previous, or me having no ass, or me having a horse face. I imply, these are all stuff you say about skinny ladies. Or having an consuming dysfunction, which , is true—or was true—however like, who cares? However they do discover new methods to love actually harm my emotions, which, , is the purpose.

So the subsequent one was Bruce Willis in 2018. Is there something that stands out from that one?

That one was so enjoyable as a result of I acquired to take a seat subsequent to Edward Norton, who I used to be a giant fan of, very intimidated by. And he didn’t actually have a lot to say to me earlier than the present. He was type sufficient, however we weren’t chit-chatting. And I used to be like, I suppose we’re not going to be buds or no matter. As a result of he was most likely nervous. I used to be too. Not impolite in any respect, however I wished to have a reference to this man. However then I am going up and I do my set after which I come again and now Edward is a fan, as a result of he simply noticed me work and respects me extra and is rather more chatty and rapidly we’re buddies. And it was like, sure! So then after his set, I cut up an edible with him. And he was telling me hilarious tales about Bruce from once they labored collectively and I had an actual night time with Edward Norton. I acquired Edward Norton alone and was in a position to be pleasant with him and social in a setting that I don’t assume anybody else might ever get an individual of that caliber, coming in as a stranger in that state of affairs.

That was the set that blew me up and adjusted my life. And I used to be devastated.

Did you keep buddies?

No, , I hoped that he would slide [into my DMs] or discover a method to get in contact with me in order that we might stay buddies. However no. However I do know that if I bumped into him once more, he would keep in mind me as a result of it was a mutual admiration. It felt so good to have the ability to carry out. As a result of after I meet somebody who’s tremendous well-known, who I like, I do know that they’d love me, however they’re not conscious of me. And I need them so badly to see me carry out in order that they’ll have respect for what I do.

After which there was Alec Baldwin.

My reminiscence from the Alec Baldwin roast was simply being devastated afterwards, as a result of I forgot to do two jokes. Properly, really, two jokes had been lower the morning of as a result of Caitlyn Jenner came upon that somebody had been training a set round city speaking about her car crash. And she or he didn’t need jokes about that.

There have been no jokes in any respect about it in the entire roast, huh?

No jokes in any respect. And there have been some actually good ones. And until I’m instructed particularly to not do one thing, I’m going to do it. And Comedy Central was like, we strongly counsel you don’t. And I am going, “However have you ever heard that from her? Can I discuss to her and ask her?” And so they wouldn’t let me discuss to her. So the morning of the roast, they lastly go, “Hear, she heard that somebody may be doing jokes about it and he or she stated she would stroll off the stage if that occurred.” And I used to be like, OK, then I’ll pull them. Like I stated, I don’t need to make anybody uncomfortable.

Then there was one other joke that I liked a lot. It was, “Alec Baldwin has a podcast known as Right here’s the Factor, which is strictly how he launched Caitlyn to me backstage.” Which I believed was only a stunning joke. And I fucking forgot to do it. It simply didn’t find yourself within the script. After which I’m on stage and I heard somebody reference his podcast, and I am going, “[Gasps] Can I stand up and do it once more?” I used to be freaking out. After which afterwards, I cried on the after occasion. I had the set of my life. That was the set that blew me up and adjusted my life. And I used to be devastated. I couldn’t have any enjoyable. And that was one of many final instances I let a remorse throughout a dwell efficiency ship me right into a tailspin.

However the one factor that I do keep in mind essentially the most and a choice that I stand by is after I assembled my writing group for that, I all the time give a type of mission assertion for every particular person. And for Blake Griffin, I used to be like, I simply need each joke to be about how sizzling he’s and the way I need to fuck him. And my writers had been like, but it surely’s a roast. And I’m like, discover a method to make it work. As a result of the factor is, I’m actually unhealthy at letting boys know I like them. I’m so brazen on stage, however I’m not good at being like, “I such as you and would entertain occurring a date with you.” I might relatively make jokes about it in order that I can get off on the truth that if he doesn’t need me, I might be like, “Oh, they’re simply jokes.” But when he does, I identical to gave you the in, now .

So did he take the in?

Properly, it was humorous as a result of we undoubtedly had a pleasant time speaking earlier than and we had been sitting proper subsequent to one another, randomly sufficient… as a result of I requested to be positioned subsequent to him at rehearsal. As a result of I knew from the Edward Norton factor that whoever you’re sitting subsequent to, you actually discuss to all night time. So we undoubtedly had been having a flirtation. And my complete set was about eager to fuck him. After which he acquired up on stage and stated I seemed like Larry Fowl and that I couldn’t move for 33, as a result of he was quantity 33. And he stated a pair different issues that had been so imply. And I do know who wrote these jokes for him. And that’s not blowing his cowl. Blake is hilarious, legit hilarious.

He DM’ed me, like, “The folks have spoken, I believe we now have to present them what they need.” And I used to be like, “Yeah, I’m down” After which we had been going to hang around if he ever got here to New York. And I suppose he simply hasn’t come to New York in any respect, despite the fact that I believe he undoubtedly is there?

Everyone will get different comedians to jot down jokes for them.

Yeah, I most likely wrote as many jokes in my set as Blake wrote in his. There is not any disgrace in having different folks write jokes for you and Blake truly is a funny person. However I believe Jimmy Carr wrote a few of these jokes and Jimmy is all the time an individual that every time I’m in a setting the place he can poke enjoyable at me, he might be so imply. He’s simply too acute together with his insults and they are often so imply about my seems, which I don’t deal with effectively, as a result of that stems from all of my insecurities about feeling that I’m one way or the other ugly. So after I came upon, I used to be like, “Jimmy fucking Carr!”

And I believe perhaps Neal Brennan wrote some too. And Neal may be very insecure about his seems so he’s in a position to write to that as effectively. He’s in a position to actually nail it. And so when I discovered that out, I used to be like, fuck these guys. However on the time I used to be extra like, fuck Blake. Which was a superb feeling, as a result of if a boy is imply to you, prior to now I’d be like, I like him extra. However this made me like, ugh. If you’ll be able to say these issues about me, I don’t need my husband—and I do know that, like, our arms simply touched, however I used to be already marrying him in my head—I can’t marry somebody who stated I seemed like Larry Fowl, that is over! After which he did slide into my DMs finally. He DM’ed me, like, “The folks have spoken, I believe we now have to present them what they need.” And I used to be like, “Yeah, I’m down” After which we had been going to hang around if he ever got here to New York. And I suppose he simply hasn’t come to New York in any respect, despite the fact that I believe he undoubtedly is there? So no, we now have not related since. However I acquired the slide in my DMs and that’s most likely all I really need ultimately anyway. As a result of I’m terrified of intimacy.

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Sean Hayes, Nikki Glaser and Blake Griffin throughout the Comedy Central Roast of Alec Baldwin at Saban Theatre on Sept. 7, 2019, in Beverly Hills, California.

Jerod Harris/Getty

The opposite joke that did stand out to me rewatching it’s the one you made about Jeff Ross, if you requested him, “How do you get 10s, I imply teenagers?” That’s a joke that has aged kind of complicatedly, I might say.

Yeah, not like the ladies he dates. No, I’m simply kidding. I’m buddies with Jeff Ross and really feel very conflicted about all of that. And that joke was really utilized in—somebody wrote something about the allegations against him and referenced that joke as like, “She knew!” And I’m like, no, I do know that his girlfriends are like a long time youthful than him, however that’s the identical for each male comic of their forties or fifties, or no matter Jeff is.

So it wasn’t exposing some open secret?

No, it was me making a joke of how he dates younger sizzling ladies, however not like unlawful sizzling ladies. And you may’t take roast jokes as information. Though, I’m making an attempt to name out issues that perhaps folks wouldn’t learn about different folks. And I suppose somebody might say, like, ”Oh my god, she knew concerning the accusations that might come up!” However I didn’t and it was not from that place, it was only a coincidence. And I hate even speaking about any of these things, as you’ll be able to inform, I’m tensing up. I used to be speaking concerning the Aziz [Ansari] thing not too long ago on a podcast and I used to be identical to, can we simply transfer on? As a result of I actually see each side of it and I by no means don’t need to belief ladies. And I additionally know that—and this isn’t about Aziz or about Jeff or about anybody—however I really consider that I might be buddies with quite a lot of monsters. I believe there are lots of people on the market which have finished disgusting issues—each ladies and men which have finished disgusting issues—and my complete coverage now could be, I don’t care for those who hold working.

Invoice Cosby, go on tour! I don’t need him to. I want I might actually kill him with my naked fingers. He’s the one individual that I might most likely need to homicide, simply because I’ve seen his present, really. I’ve hated Invoice Cosby since he got here to my faculty in 2006. I fell asleep throughout his present. I’ve all the time hated Invoice Cosby. I didn’t know that he was going to be some of the prolific serial rapists we’ve ever identified—allegedly—however I simply really feel prefer it’s as much as the buyer. I used to be on board with “cancel tradition” for some time and now I’m simply actually terrified of it. And I believe that everybody simply must make up their thoughts whether or not they need to eat it or not. I’m simply making an attempt my finest to like everybody and listen to everybody out and provides everybody the good thing about the doubt earlier than I attempt to cancel or pile on. However generally it’s tempting as a result of generally you already hate somebody comedically after which they arrive out as a pedophile and also you go, I’ve all the time resented your success since you’re not even humorous. And now you’re a creep, fuck sure! After which for some comedians like Louis [C.K.], I can’t watch him anymore. It’s not that I wouldn’t get pleasure from him. I most likely would love his new stuff, however I’ve heard he doesn’t talk about the thing.

Yeah, I really feel like if he did an hour about that—

I might be again on board!

I believe it will make an enormous distinction. And that’s why I don’t know why he doesn’t do it as a result of I believe it will give him some credit score.

I’m positive he has his causes. But it surely’s a private alternative for me. I don’t perceive why my mind works this fashion. I can nonetheless get pleasure from Michael Jackson. I can nonetheless get pleasure from some Chris Brown songs that aren’t about loving and cherishing ladies. As a result of for me to get pleasure from these songs, I have to consider the particular person singing them loves and cherishes ladies. So what he’s finished goes towards that. For me to get pleasure from Thriller, I don’t have to assume that [Michael Jackson] hasn’t molested kids. For Louis, to get pleasure from him, I have to belief him.

Subsequent week on The Last Laugh podcast: Comic and star of Bob’s Burgers and The Mysterious Benedict Society, Kristen Schaal.

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