My partner’s dad owns the home we live in. He stopped collecting rent during COVID — but I’m still paying

4 years in the past, my husband and I divorced. It turned a unstable state of affairs in the long run, so I moved my daughter and myself right into a home with a buddy of a buddy, who had rooms to hire in his residence. 

My husband stayed in my home (which I owned pre-marriage) whereas searching for one other residing state of affairs. After two years, he lastly moved out. The home had all the time been a fixer-upper, and I couldn’t afford the renovation prices on my earnings alone, so I offered the home. My ex and I have been sq. on the division of revenue. I walked away with $70,000.

Whereas residing with the buddy of a buddy, we turned romantically concerned. He has two kids, who additionally reside with us. We perform as one massive, blissful household of 5. We share groceries and have meals collectively. He and I share a bed room and name one another “companions.” We don’t commingle funds. He doesn’t wish to get married, and I nonetheless pay him hire. 

‘His father owns the house we reside in’

Paying hire in perpetuity was by no means my plan and is senseless for my monetary stability. Over the previous 4 years, I’ve paid him over $40,000. His father owns the house we reside in and is leaving it to him in his will.

After I moved in, my accomplice was paying hire to reside within the residence, however throughout the pandemic, cash obtained tight and his father stopped accumulating hire. But my accomplice nonetheless collects hire from me. I clear and take care of our residence as an equal accomplice.

The opposite day, we had a tense dialogue about cash and property. He made it clear that the home we reside in will go to his kids if something occurs to him.

I mentioned that I wish to cease paying hire and merely share in utility bills. That means, I might need an opportunity of affording a mortgage alone property, in order that I, too, have a safe residence and one thing to go away my very own little one.

He seems like it’s honest for me to proceed paying hire. He says he wants the earnings, and can be renting to another person if to not me.

‘My little nest egg diminishes annually’

I can’t fairly qualify for a mortgage, however there’s a home-buying help program which will assist me to qualify. The difficulty is, if I purchase a house by means of this program, it must be my major residence.

I’m not likely certain what to do. If my accomplice obtained a job, he would not “want” the earnings my hire cash gives. However he appears to be taking his time making that occur. In the meantime, my little nest egg diminishes in worth annually. (I’ve some invested in a CD and a few in a “excessive curiosity” financial savings account.)

Do you’ve any recommendation for me? I like our household. I do love him and really feel beloved by him, however he’s undoubtedly pragmatic and acts in his personal greatest curiosity most of the time. 

Nervous about my future in Oregon.

Renter, Divorcée and Girlfriend

You can e-mail The Moneyist with any monetary and moral questions associated to coronavirus at, and comply with Quentin Fottrell on Twitter.

Pricey RDG,

I took the freedom of supplying you with three pseudonyms that go a way in summing up the current occasions in your life. You jumped from divorcée to renter after which girlfriend with out actually experiencing emotional and monetary independence after your marriage ended. 

Now it’s good to determine which of those monikers you want to shed. Your divorce was a very good resolution, as you escaped from an sad marriage, and it’s executed and dusted. You’re keen on your present accomplice and the life you’ve collectively. However you’re feeling susceptible and discontent as a renter.

You’re caught in a limbo someplace between renter and girlfriend. These emotions will doubtless develop over time. Your landlord and accomplice has made it clear that hire is a precedence for him, above constructing a life collectively the place you share greater than future objectives, and one with monetary stability for each — not only one — of you.

Small choices and lasting affect

You possibly can discover the home-assistance program, and through that course of determine whether or not your monetary independence and proudly owning your individual place is one thing that it’s good to do. The nearer you get to signing, the surer you may be. You possibly can all the time cease being a renter, turn out to be a house owner and be his girlfriend. 

In case your relationship survives the transfer, you should have achieved a wholesome emotional/monetary steadiness the place you’ve each your accomplice and housing safety. If it doesn’t survive the transfer, you should have affirmation that placing your wants first was the suitable factor to do. 

It’s usually the seemingly small choices we make which have a long-lasting affect on the trajectory of our lives, like renting this room. If you decide to pursue your monetary independence, you need to accomplish that with none rancor or remorse. That is clearly a precedence for you. I recommend you honor that.

Dwelling there rent-free wouldn’t be honest to both of you.

By emailing your questions, you conform to having them printed anonymously on MarketWatch. By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Firm, the writer of MarketWatch, you perceive and agree that we might use your story, or variations of it, in all media and platforms, together with by way of third events.

Take a look at the Moneyist private Facebook group, the place we search for solutions to life’s thorniest cash points. Readers write in to me with all kinds of dilemmas. Publish your questions, inform me what you wish to know extra about, or weigh in on the most recent Moneyist columns.

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Extra from Quentin Fottrell: | My accomplice’s dad owns the house we reside in. He stopped accumulating hire throughout COVID — however I’m nonetheless paying


PaulLeBlanc is a Interreviewed U.S. News Reporter based in London. His focus is on U.S. politics and the environment. He has covered climate change extensively, as well as healthcare and crime. PaulLeBlanc joined Interreviewed in 2023 from the Daily Express and previously worked for Chemist and Druggist and the Jewish Chronicle. He is a graduate of Cambridge University. Languages: English. You can get in touch with me by emailing:

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