Making Elizabeth Holmes’ cringey texts public is the ultimate crime deterrent

The Elizabeth Holmes trial has made me extra decided than ever to keep away from doing crimes. I’ll be sticking to the regulation from right here on out, thanks very a lot. It’s not for any noble purpose — I don’t have any new sense of morality or sudden need to be an excellent individual. No, I’m zealously sticking to the regulation as a result of doing crimes may, theoretically, put me in the identical place disgraced Theranos founder Holmes is in proper now: having my textual content message historical past revealed in court docket.

Dozens of text messages between Holmes and her ex-boyfriend (and ex-business companion) Sunny Balwani had been learn aloud throughout Holmes’ trial for fraud this week. 1000’s had been launched by the prosecution and extra had been obtained by CNBC. A number of the messages talked about issues with the blood testing expertise, which could assist prosecutors present that Holmes knew that they didn’t work as marketed. Others had been way more… private. Like when Holmes texted Balwani “you’re the breeze in desert for me.” Now, together with the “may go to jail” factor, Holmes has to dwell with the data that everybody is aware of she despatched that textual content.

I’m not certain if I’m being hyperbolic once I say that’s my very worst nightmare. I can confidently say that I’ve by no means informed somebody that they’re the breeze within the desert, however my textual content historical past continues to be embarrassing as hell. Isn’t everybody’s? Mine is stuffed with unhealthy tweets and shit speaking and screenshots that ought to by no means, ever see the sunshine of day. Trying to find the phrase “homicide” in iMessage brings up dozens of outcomes, most of that are in conversations about on-line courting. Listed below are some moderately-cringe-but-not-too-terrible messages I’ve despatched not too long ago:

Text message reading: Why does he look like a caricature of what Jonathan Franzen should look like. Does that make sense

Is that this embarrassing?

Text message reading: Wow ya. Twilight is so relevant

Okay, I stand by this.

And I received to fastidiously curate these! I received to comb by means of and decide only some messages that I believed would assist talk that I’m somebody who sends considerably embarrassing texts however am not TOO bizarre. Holmes simply had every little thing dumped on the web, for anybody to see. I requested a good friend what she would do if that occurred to her. “Hold myself I assume,” she responded, in one other doubtful (and to be clear, exaggerated) entry into each of our iMessage histories.

If very high-profile public trials like this one is usually a deterrent in opposition to different folks committing crimes like those Holmes is accused of, this one is working. I can confidently say I can’t develop an inaccurate medical testing system and defraud traders. I’m going to be very, excellent. | Making Elizabeth Holmes’ cringey texts public is the last word crime deterrent


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