I want to go far in my career. I want what’s best for me. I want success, and I’ll do just about anything to get it – except one working girl Permed, although I would consider adding a shoulder pad or two. So today I come to you from a desk and chair, as opposed to where I usually address the general public: my boffice (bed office).
This is just one of the many pieces of valuable information that struck me while attending Kardashian matriarch Kris Jenner’s MasterClass for the MasterClass: I have to be ready to spin. If I’m striving for professional prosperity, I need to pick myself up, get my affairs in order, and get to work outside of the comfort of my comfy Urban Outfitters duvet. After all, when my alarm clock rings in the morning, Kris has been up for hours trading millions with the big shots.
I had no idea what to expect when I started my very first MasterClass earlier this week. Of course I had heard that this was the best way to learn from all the greats. A quick scan of his talent library in my specialty, arts and entertainment, would suggest this. Natalie Portman, Shonda Rhimes, Jodie Foster and Martin Scorsese are just a few of the valued instructors. There’s even a 3-hour class by Alicia Keys if I want to learn how to always be wrong!
With a MasterClass from someone as respected and business savvy as Kris Jenner, I was ready to sit down with pad and paper for five to seven hours of intense study. It turns out that Kris has the second shortest course in Economics. Hers is an hour and forty-six minutes long – just three minutes longer than Howard Shultz’s, who had to quickly tape his classes so he could get back to his busy schedule of Starbucks union busting.
However, a little over 90 minutes of class time was ideal for my afternoon. And frankly, a good businessman should be able to teach the basics of brand building during this time. While I would like to state that I am so passionate about standards of journalism practice, I was willing to put in seven hours of study for less than 2,000 words in a Google Doc. But I digress!
Kris’ class is divided into 11 separate, easily digestible segments. Each has a targeted bullet point within the larger framework of their overall MasterClass, which is all about building a successful personal brand and turning it into a business. “We’re going to talk about how to create the right personal brand narrative and how to target the right audience,” she says in a markedly different tone at the end of her introduction; She is now clearly reading from a cue card. “And how to handle fame while staying grounded, graceful and true to yourself!”
With that line, I was sure fame was my destiny. But to my chagrin, there were no paparazzi outside my building this morning as I went to take an early Trader Joe’s run. But as Kris later pointed out to me, this wouldn’t happen overnight – even if it apparently did for her family.
From the very first segment, I realized I was starting with a disadvantage. Kris tells us, her top students, that making your personal brand authentic is important. And to do that, you should sell yourself as someone who is doing what you really love. “I’ve been doing what I love to do, which is filming a TV show,” says Kris of where she started her brand. And that’s all well and good, but some of us are still in the middle of contract negotiations with those pesky stingy networks! What should we do while we wait for the cameras to go off?
Luckily, for every completely clueless, unattributable statement, Kris actually offers some genuinely good advice. As I mentioned earlier, her emphasis on a willingness to twist—in both life and business—is a true core that can be adjusted and applied to life at its worst moments. Would I have switched to pre-roasted frozen corn when Trader Joe’s ran out of regular frozen corn this morning if I didn’t have Kris’s advice in my back pocket? Hard to say. Sometimes one bag of corn is enough to ruin your whole day if you’re not prepared for it.
Quite a bit of Kris’s classes involved stories from her life story. My eyes sparkled every time she started telling a story from her past; I was already largely aware of Kris’ story, having burned millions of brain cells throughout all 285 episodes Keeping up with the Kardashians and its various spin-offs over the years. However, this inadvertently fulfilled another of Kris’ instructions, which was to experiment with different ways and find out what you’re really good at. I am Great when I tune out and laugh to myself, imagine Commander Kris sitting in her chair with her starched pilgrim collar addressing the nation as if she were FDR and this was her fireside chat.
But when I tuned back in, I got exactly what I came here for: Kris’s morning plan. My biggest vice in this world is watching celebrity videos “What’s In My Bag” or “What I Eat In a Day,” so I pulled up a chair, ready to indulge. “I have coffee. I get on the treadmill. I respond to emails, texts and can make some international phone calls,” says Kris. “So I feel like I have a leg up today.”
I immediately realized that I needed to rearrange my entire sleep schedule. I am now setting up my coffee maker. I call random numbers every morning just to feel important. I dial the Marshall’s/TJ Maxx/Bed, Bath & Beyond combo in Chelsea to find out when they open, only to hear another daredevil on the other end of the line.
Then Kris gave me a more fulfilling validation than I’ve ever had from any therapist. “I’ll arrive about half an hour early. Just so I can sit, ground myself… go through all the notes. Everything I do keeps me flowing into the next hour of the day.”
As a chronically early, overly anxious homosexual, it was as if Kris took my hand in hers, looked me in the eye, and said her famous line, “You’re doing great, sweetie.” (also a title of one of her lessons, by the way). The next time I’m sitting at an airport gate, long before my flight has even appeared on the screen next to the jetbridge door, I’ll remember that. I’ll tell my friend — who condemned me for arriving at 5am before the Hudson News even opened — this is how Kris Jenner does it. And don’t you want to be successful?
“After all, we know that Kris’ tips led to 15 years of staying power. And in industrial years? That’s a lifetime.”
Well I’ll be honest with you. A big part of Kris’ class is her mumbo-jumbo and repeated saying of the word “brand”. Her classes were reminiscent of the courses I took as a student in an advertising program, long before I became the beautiful, young, witty writer with the stunning complexion that I am today.
But in that sense, they is a branding expert. Turn to any other influencer on social media with 500,000 followers and they will spit out the exact same platitudes! And with far less enthusiasm. After all, we know that Kris’ tips led to 15 years of staying power. And in industrial years? That’s a lifetime.
Each of the lessons in Kris’ class has a detailed assignment at the end. I don’t do adult homework, so I was skeptical. It turns out these are more suggestions than tasks. The first was to create a vision board that reflected my personality. Kris is a highly visual learner who, despite many attempts, is unsuccessful in creating vision boards online, a revelation that I fear could plummet Pinterest stock.
I chose to skip this task (and the others too) because if you count housewives memes saved from twitter, videos of Bella Hadid say nonsensical wisdomand screenshots of half-naked famous men, I already have several vision boards in the 33,428 photos stored in my camera roll.
Also, Kris Jenner’s course on MasterClass is most compelling when viewed as a character study. Reading between the lines is an essential part of this experience. And the ironic but oh-so-genius thing about the whole thing is that you can watch her moment by moment as she implements her own branding.
For example, on the importance of brand logos, Kris says, “I remember when Kim chose the brand logo for SKIMS and how much effort, time and energy she put into it. Because she had something in her head, she wanted it, and she didn’t stop until she got there.” Kris completely conceals the fact that Kim had to rebrand the entire brand after the product was already in production. It used to be called “Kimono” until a justified outcry of cultural appropriation led to a name change. But Kris, always the brilliant businesswoman and brand manager, walks right over this failure. Because the Kardashian brand is not a failure.
I don’t dare say much more than I’ve already revealed – I don’t want to leak the entire class. That would be pointless and maybe even illegal. I say “maybe” because I’m not sure, but I want to avoid exposing the legal ramifications of an entity that can afford Kris Jenner and Anna Wintour’s daily fee.
While Kris Jenner’s course on MasterClass might not be filled with the most proprietary advice, it’s a streamlined starter pack for anyone looking to improve at personal branding. It’s undeniable at this point that Kris Jenner is a master at marketing, and this course is perfect for anyone who wants to avoid an expensive education for just a few thousand followers.
At the end of the day, however, I take home Kris’s nonsensical joke, especially one I don’t quite get, although I take it at face value: “Behave like you can. You can’t afford the loaf of bread, even though you can but owns the bakery.” After sharing this wisdom, Kris simply says, “You’re welcome.” She’s Jean Valjean and This is her master class.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/obsessed/kris-jenners-masterclass-review-the-kardashian-matriarch-talks-business?source=articles&via=rss Kris Jenner’s MasterClass Review – The Kardashian Matriarch Talks Business