Kim Kardashian’s tragic obsession with the ghost of Marilyn Monroe

OneThere will be silence in the halls of Kim Kardashian’s gorgeous Calabasas mansion. The kids are asleep, Pete Davidson is in New York reading to SNLand Kim finally had a moment of peace for themselves after a hectic week of preparations for the Met Gala.

She ditched the day application of KKW Beauty’s military-grade steel wool body foundation, donned her most luxurious SKIMS, and devoted herself to popcorn and an old movie. “Ugh, I love and cherish this,” she said absolutely no one in particular while queuing Some Like It Hot.

Suddenly, her lights started flashing. “Northie, go to sleep!” she shouted. But as soon as they started flashing, they completely disappeared. She got up from the couch to locate the breaker box with her phone’s flashlight before remembering that her walls were bare and designed to be completely invisible to all electrical sources.

She went into the kitchen to find candles, nearly breaking her leg on every piece of hard marble furniture she bumped into along the way.

She could have sworn she heard laughter so soft it was almost a whisper, echoing through her barren house. Her kitchen smelled unusual, there was an air of Chanel No. 5 mixed with the unmistakable metallic smell of blood. Suddenly, she realized her feet were scratched, cut from the tiny shards of diamonds strewn across the kitchen floor, torn from priceless jewels she kept in an empty safe. controllable upstairs.

Then her phone’s flashlight went out and the device started ringing. Unknown number. Kim, in tears, answered, her voice trembling. “Hello?” she asked, her voice dropping to a whisper. A devilish but undeniably chuckle erupted from the other end of the line, causing Kim to drop her phone, shattering the screen. “Happy Birthday…Miss Kardashian. Make a wish, it will be your last! ”

America’s most famous woman is creating a horror movie for herself while the rest of us have been living a horror movie.

Kim Kardashian’s obsession…

Kim Kardashian desperately wants to be haunted, which has become very clear as a week has passed. Her billions of dollars have allowed her to experience every earthly pleasure and every last human emotion that can be registered by the brain, and now all that remains is her. Dip your toes into the afterlife of the spiritual realm to invite possession.

It began Monday night when Kim walked the Met Gala red carpet in New York in Marilyn Monroe’s infamous and priceless gown, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President.” But leaving her mark on an irreplaceable piece of storage is just the latest step in her plan to have a baby. The day after the 2022 Met Gala, Ripley’s Believe it or Not! —The person who lent Kim the dress to wear a short on the carpet before she changed into an exact replica — posted a video of the fitting session they did with Kardashian in April where they made her She was surprised with a Tiffany blue box containing a silver tin filled with a lock of Marilyn Monroe’s real hair.

Cecil Stoughton / AP / Shutterstock

It feels fittingly, if slightly worrisome, that while most Americans spend their Tuesdays worrying about the state of Roe v. Wade and what overturning that decision might mean to the people’s autonomy, Ripley’s Believe It or Not! happened to post a video of them giving away the hair of a dead woman. But Kim Kardashian has never been one to argue that flair or any kind of cultural awareness doesn’t directly serve her own brand, so why start now?

When she opened the box to see the lock of hair in front of her, Kim gasped and frantically asked Ripley’s agent what it was, even though she clearly already knew. It is the final key to lowering the curtain that separates this world from the next; the ghostly artifact would allow Kim access through the passage not politically but ideologically; Horror token will put her plan into action. “Oh my god, I literally going to do some crazy voodoo,” she said through a thousand-watt grin.

The cultural insensitivity of that statement aside, it’s surprising to see her admitting her dark intrigues so gleefully. But when you get to the point where you need to invite an obsession into your life just to spark a little excitement, you’re probably past the point of self-correction.

Once she’s safely in possession of the hair, all that’s left for her to do is grab the dress. A few seconds on the Met Gala red carpet will be all it takes for her to initiate contact with an evil spirit from Hollywood’s past, be it Marilyn Monroe or someone else sent from afar. to make the bid of the late blonde.

As she puts on the dress, her DNA will come into contact with any Monroe debris that may have been left over from that fateful night in late May 1962, just under 60 years earlier.

Sure, the veil between the worlds is thinnest when time aligns, but you can’t leave off the first Monday of May for anyone, not even Kim Kardashian! Well, unless you factor in when last year’s Gala was held on the second Monday of September, the date change is an act of divine intervention that allows us to get acquainted with the balls of Nicki Minaj’s cousin friend. But I digress.

Kim told Vogue that she lost a whopping 16 pounds in three weeks to fit the dress. “I would wear a sauna twice a day, run on the treadmill, cut out sugar and all carbs, and eat only the cleanest vegetables and protein,” she confessed to the magazine. Of course, this makes a lot of sense, because the possessor requires its host to be in a weakened state.

How could Kim become the vessel of her obsession if she wasn’t willing to undergo serious body modification just to wear a dress in five minutes? Call her Kim Cronenberg! It had to be perfect, she only had one shot to communicate with the other side. “It’s this or nothing,” she said Vogue about the diet. Seems like something someone who has been identified as plagued by ghosts would say.

This is not Kim’s first attempt at phantasmagoric exposure. She transcends history, experimenting with images of various famous women from a political past. When the number in your checking account adds a seventh zero, you get a free ticket to play in the murky waters of the supernatural. And you can do it without dexterity.

After dressing up as Jackie Kennedy in 2017 Interview Taking pictures and unable to conjure up the angry ghost of Mrs. Onassis herself, Kim set her soul on a macabre scene on the afterburner until her sensibility was awakened once more by Lucifer himself falling to Earth. : Ellen DeGeneres.

DeGeneres asked Kim to go with her talk show producer and his hairdo to Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights last fall for a segment of the show. Once there, Kim screams by passing the attraction, her cry of horror often evolving into a squeal as she recalls what it is to toy with the dead and the feeling being alive makes her feel. how. That’s when she might decide to try waking the dead again, and now she’s switched from Jackie Kennedy to her supposed lover: Marilyn Monroe.

She’s the devil (and I mean HELLbent) into angering souls in one way or another. She’ll spit on anyone’s grave if it means having a chance to face the only force stronger than her: an adversary.

She doesn’t care if she succeeds in her attempt to be haunted or not. Surely, she will love and cherish wake up with a sedating sensation in the face, only to open your eyes to see Marilyn Monroe standing at the edge of her bed staring at her or to hear former employees of her DASH store cackle One Carol’s Christmas– necklaces in the night, asking for overtime pay they never get, but for her, it’s all about feeling something. The new, the rare that money can’t buy once. A new way to spend an afternoon!

You know, how good it would be to spend all her energy and time on something important when she could instead spend her free time re-enacting her entire plot. Hereditary from start to finish just for fun to see what happens.

She’s mobilized a whole team to help her collect haunted tokens in some creepy, twisted scavenger hunts so she can take them to the bathroom at The Met and spin around. in the mirror three times while saying “Bloody Mary,” while others are campaigning to try to make sure people can maintain access to safe abortion and basic health care decisions.

There is no longer any hope of an intersection between these two states of existence. Kim Kardashian can do the Bar test for her baby as many times as she wants, but it will always feel like a false show of false progress for some relatively fake states, some activities. acting for a public that she could not understand.

Someone who has the time, energy, and resources to starve herself to lose 16 pounds to wear a dress so she can appeal to the dark lord Beelzebub is not someone who can be linked to the masses, these who find their rights under siege by the same kind of old, grimacing white men who date, lust and disrespect the legacy of the woman she likes to dress revealingly.

There was no real reverence for the ghosts she so desperately wanted to come into contact with by making herself into their image. She wants to mock them, and one should know never to mock a ghost. She could also have just brought out an ouija board and asked all the Met Ball co-chairs if they wanted to play.

Kim Kardashian’s longing to experience a haunting has seen her play with the thin thread of fate that ties life and death together like a game, similar to how senior legislators Most treat life-changing decisions that will affect the rest of us forever. She can’t see that connection, but her homemade horror movie is largely the same as the one being made for us — hers will just end with Videodrome the cry of “Long live new meat!” in juveniles there is a nasal voice.