Imagine you happened to text your dad

What did this little slime dog do?
Photo: HBO

Heir full of terrible people doing terrible things. There has been lying, fraud, various forms of assault, manipulation and emotional abuse amid corporate corruption and family dysfunction. But on Sunday night, in the penultimate episode of season three, we witnessed one of the most horrifying acts ever: Roman accidentally sent a dodgy photo to his father, Logan.

In a matter of minutes, Roman went from celebrating his Waystar-GoJo win and a little amused by his father’s approval to mistakenly texting him a picture of his penis with the words, “Eat it. dinner to celebrate, Gerri? Eat this. ” That is the pinnacle of Schadenfreude; painful to watch, can’t see far. It was horrible and unexpected and exactly what you would expect Roman to do.

I suppose that’s what we all deserve after 28 episodes where we beg, beg Roman and him. “Mom’s girlfriend” Gerri Kellman pleases, for the love of God, Be weird. We all know their palpable sexual tension is wrong, which makes their Oedipal “Are they right?” all the more attractive. And then… he sent that message. There’s a chance that these two characters might, eventually end up having their damned union teased and then quickly ripped off by the writers like… being in the mood to share someone and accidentally send it to your parents.

There’s been a lot of terrible things happening on the Heir: Kendall witnesses (if not assists) the busboy’s death, Logan hits his nephew with a can of cranberry sauce on Thanksgiving, Tom is forced to devour his own payload. But none of this feels nearly like what happened on Sunday night. Who among us hasn’t thought of the nauseating possibility of texting someone nude only to accidentally send it to your parents? Just writing that sentence makes me want to die.

So, where are Gerri and Roman going from here? Definitely not the bedroom. Perhaps for the best, this forbidden romance is completely muffled at this point. I don’t think I can handle any more of Roman’s penis protruding where it shouldn’t be.