I Want What They (Almost) Had: Captain Von Trapp and Baroness Schraeder

Love is a many-splendored factor, particularly whenever you’re gawking at it from the skin. On this new column, we’ll be inspecting the celeb {couples} who give us hope for our personal romantic futures as we attempt to study what we are able to from their well-documented bonds.

More often than not, this column exists to reward a real-world couple whose method of relating to at least one one other or current within the public eye is, indirectly, inspiring. Right now, although, we’re throwing it again to 1965 with an appreciation of the good love story on the middle of the beloved musical drama The Sound of Music; no, not between good-looking, strict Captain von Trapp and cheery governess Maria, who really find yourself collectively (spoiler—however actually, when you haven’t watched the film but, have been you going to?), however the former and Maria’s rival: the curvy, completely coiffed and supremely nasty Baroness Elsa Schraeder.

I’ve all the time beloved Maria—what sort of monster wouldn’t?—however once I rewatched the movie lately with my household, as summer time custom dictates, I used to be struck by how witty and, nicely, cool the baroness was, and the way wise of a match she was for the…let’s simply say it, kind-of-mean-but-extraordinarily-hot captain. The baroness is continually tossing off superb bon mots like “Nothing’s extra irresistible to a person than a girl who’s in love with him” (talking from private expertise, I urge to vary; however the line remains to be nice), and also you get the sense she’d be a wizard with a cocktail shaker. (Is she type of a coward in terms of the entire World Conflict II factor? Certain, however who’s excellent?)

In the end, it’s the breakup scene between the captain and the baroness that actually sells me on her. When the baroness sees the writing on the wall, she beats the captain to the punch, saying, “Fond as I’m of you, I actually don’t assume you’re the appropriate man for me. You’re a lot too impartial. And I want somebody who wants me desperately…or no less than wants my cash desperately.” To crack clever whereas getting your coronary heart damaged is, to me, the definition of fashion; I feel Nora Ephron would approve, and actually, what larger praise can I give her than that? The Baroness Schraeder caps off the breakup by telling the captain, “Someplace out there’s a girl who I feel won’t ever be a nun. Auf wiedersehen, darling,” and getting the hell out of there, probably fascinated with the seven children-shaped bullets she’s dodging.

Possibly I’m biased towards the baroness as a result of I’m actually extra like her than Maria; I used to be a washout as a nanny, I don’t sing until I’m drunk at karaoke, and actually, I would need my distinguished, wealthy boyfriend to ship his seven annoying youngsters off to “a pleasant little factor known as boarding faculty.” Plus, on a style word, I favor Schraeder’s figure-hugging va-va-voom attire and beaded jackets over Maria’s boring frocks (or, heaven forbid, her nun’s behavior). I do know, I do know, Maria is the heroine, however come on…who would you slightly get a drink with? Captain von Trapp could have made his alternative, however all I’m saying is, I type of want he’d chosen in another way—and I’m not the only one.