Though united by their stupidity, each of the five central characters in It’s always sunny in Philadelphia brings something slightly different to the table. vulgar Frank, Charlie is so innocent, Mac is insecure, Dee is selfish, and Dennis is a social narcissist not allowed within 50 feet of women. Despite this, however, the latter has produced some excellent citations over the years.
The humor that Dennis brings It’s always sunny often slightly different from the capital contributed by other gang members. It’s the kind of awkward humor that draws the line between funny and scary and has in many ways defined his personality over the past fifteen years. Here are some of Dennis’ best quotes and the context in which they were used.
7 “The thunder of my vengeance will resound through these corridors like the wind of autumn!” (S06E12)
The frequency with which Dennis plunges into crisis is actually quite alarming. Whether threatening to unleash his fury against a tire kicker who wastes his time “like a tidal wave” or will do anything to the hospital administrator for not letting his very pregnant sister build him a private room, the result can sometimes be a bit intimidating. As for Dennis’ though, his words tend to be beautifully composed.
Sadly, in the case of the hospital administrator, the threat of Thor’s Hammer did not yield the desired effect, which forced Dee and Dennis to solve the problem themselves. After pulling out of their own Weekend at Bernie’s– Dee’s very shrewd way of throwing away his roommate, Dennis points out that the movie would be a lot darker without the sunglasses before suggesting they toss the poor man in the trash.
6 “Is a rock crack enough?” (S02E03)
Dennis’ laziness is evident from the very beginning of the show, with spoiled brothers and sisters often take shortcuts to avoid having to change reality. This all happened when Frank asked Dennis and Dee to start pulling their weights at the bar, which resulted in the golden geese abandoning Paddy’s to pursue their dreams. Naturally, they will claim unemployment benefits almost immediately and soon have a plan to ensure long-term benefits.
When simply telling the welfare office that they were addicted to drugs didn’t work, the couple decided to go out and buy some crack instead. However, as two extremely corrupt members of the middle class, neither of them really know what they are doing and this leads to a very interesting encounter with a drug dealer. Ironically, the couple ended up missing their scheduled drug test, which kept them from receiving benefits. Worse still, both are addicted to crack.
5 “I beat your girlfriend.” (S03E01)
More than most characters in It’s always sunny, Dennis is extremely offensive. Furthermore, in addition to having a short fuse, he also has an insatiable thirst for revenge. This vengeance is often swift and savage in the wild, as the unfortunate hippy Azrael discovered in the premiere third. All he does is make the unforgivable mistake of questioning Dennis’s motives, which in turn leads to the latter coming up with a frenzied plan of revenge.
Dennis first tricks Azrael into chaining himself to a tree and then proceeds to seduce hippy Sage’s girlfriend while spying on The Doors logo Riders on the Storm play outside. In fact, there was a terrible storm raging as it was all going, meaning that when Dennis returned to the immutable Azrael the next morning, he was in pretty bad shape. Instead of helping him, however, Dennis brings in a group of vandals to destroy the tree and then casually delivers bad news about Sage.
4 “Completely separate.” (S05E10)
Like many sleazy “pickup artists” on YouTube, Dennis has his own system for meeting women. In fact, many of the early steps involved are quite similar, with Dennis wanting to prove his worth and physically attract women in the early stages of the “relationship”. From there, however, the DENNIS system takes things to an extreme, so disgustingly depraved that even the shy YouTubers are appalled.
The next step is cultivating dependence, which often scares women away from the threat of physical violence from a fictitious third party. He followed this up by ignoring them, then allowed him to rekindle hope by returning a few weeks later. In the end, he sinks into the night, completely separated from the women, and moves on to his next target. This sleazy system says a lot about Dennis and makes his attitude towards the opposite sex completely obvious.
3 “Because there are implications.” (S06E03)
If the DENNIS system wasn’t dark enough, Dennis would certainly use potentially dangerous situations to find ways to woo women. As he explains to Mac, when stranded on a boat out at sea, it’s very hard for people to say no to him due to the potential consequences of doing so. Even Mac is a bit shocked by this and urges Dennis to confirm that these theoretical women really aren’t in any danger, but Dennis can’t do it convincingly.
Viewers actually got a chance to see Dennis test this theory when the gang went on a cruise in season 11. However, things didn’t end with the plan for the narcissist and as a result he was pretty much right when he was caught. locked in a ship. It ends up being a hugely frustrating scene and one that is a complete contrast to the one with Mac from a couple of seasons earlier in terms of tone.
2 “I’m a five-star man!” (S10E02)
Although the majority of his sexual conquests have been through conspiracies and disgusting systems, Dennis really cares what women think of him. Viewers first saw this in season 2 when he starved himself after being told his face was starting to look a bit fat, but it was perhaps most apparent in season 10 when the group tried to group dating. Not surprisingly, perhaps, things did not go particularly well.
Women look straight through his veil, causing many of them to leave him a poor review on the dating app the group is using. As his ratings get lower and lower, Dennis begins to obsess about it, leading to many commotions throughout the episode. Unfortunately, however, no matter how many times he repeats himself, he cannot improve his rating and become the “five-star man” he believes in so much.
first “I am the golden god.” (S07E12)
In addition to being a dangerous killer, Dennis is also a huge narcissist. Viewers see this constantly throughout the series through his constant ramblings about being the perfect man, but there are times when he takes the idea a step or two further. In season 7, his excessive ego leads him to consider himself a “golden god”, although it is soon revealed that these unhealthy illusions of nobility are not exactly new.
Before the gang’s high school reunion, Dennis repeatedly talked about being a golden god during his school days. His former best friend Tim Murphy later revealed that this self-given nickname was not a nickname Dennis coined in his later years, but a nickname he had used since his school days. This confrontation also resulted in Dennis claiming the title of “King of Henchmen”, albeit in comparison to is a god, being a king (or a five-star man, for that matter) isn’t really all that impressive.
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