Clayton Echard Is So Good That He Remakes ‘The Bachelorette’

After airing the second half of Never End Bachelor season finale on Tuesday night, ABC will pay the hospital bills for us. Last night’s episode ended with Clayton Echard himself deciding that, despite begging finalists Rachel and Gabby to stay on the show during a Rose from Hell Farewell Ceremony, he still loved Susie most of all, for no apparent reason other than that she’s the one going away. You might recognize this logic if you’ve ever spent time with little kids, celebrities who always wanted a toy they weren’t allowed to have.

Susie, meanwhile, has been held hostage in a Hilton airport in Reykjavík the whole time in anticipation of this moment. After a plea from host Jesse Palmer, she reluctantly agreed to chat with Clayton, in which she explained that their messy breakup left her humiliated and confused by his lack of empathy. .

In response, our turtleneck-obsessed guy apologized profusely, told her he’d do anything to win her back, and said, “The second you step out, I was lost any things.” It’s infuriating to hear him say it when he spends the final episode torturing other women in an attempt to keep them in Iceland – after Susie has already stepped out. Susie AKA Hannah Brown 2.0 didn’t explicitly agree to give Clayton another chance, but decided nonetheless that it was finally time for him to develop a moral compass and send Rachel and Gabby to pack. Because, you know, the main Final what he wanted to do was lead them.

Once prone to producer interference, Clayton doesn’t think it’s a bad idea to break up with two women at once (read: horribly insensitive and disrespectful). “Through everything I’ve done, I’ve done what I thought was best and followed my heart. But I realize I’ve caused so much pain and I wish I could undo it all,” he told Rachel and Gabby as they stared at him from a couch and calculated if they could how quickly they could get to the airport if they parted. an Uber. “You know, I totally see a future with both of you and tell you I love you and I mean all of that. But I realized that falling in love with three women as I said was not possible for me.” (You literally just said a sentence earlier that you loved them and meant it, Clayton, but OK, go.)

Dry eyes after telling them his heart is no longer with them because it was with Susie at the Hilton, he says he’s COMPLETED they WILL FORGET HIM. Pardon the hats, but they are fully covered by the warranty in this case.

Gabby again avoided the former player to within an inch of his life, telling him, “I am furious that I have spent the last two days away from my family and friends who really contempt for me and you are not. I can’t believe anything you say, not a thing. You asked me to stay because you were upset and your pride was hurt because Susie was gone.” Bewildered but still true to form, Clayton asked if he could take her out, and she replied with a sharp “no” that sounded a lot like she meant, “Are you kidding me? ?” Gabby for the President!

Rachel’s reaction, however, is truly heartbreaking to watch. It was clear that the pilot who lived in Florida thought she would be the one going out to join, and for good reason. The mascara was smeared all over her face, she said after her Fantasy Suite date when Clayton shouted to the sky that he loved her, she felt so lucky to have experienced such a rare strong love. How when she was the only one by his side during the Feast of Roses from Hell, she believed him when he said that fighting for each other would make them stronger. How the next day, heartbroken, she had to face his parents with a smile and tell them how much she loved their son. “I promise when you look back on this, this will haunt you,” she told him. “The fact that you let me go.”

Proving herself to be a heartless narcissist once and for all, Clayton didn’t shed a single tear during Rachel’s Oscar-worthy monologue, essentially slamming the car door in her face as she He tragically asked several times, “Are you really putting me in this car right away?”

But the situation is not bad. Gabby and Rachel each had the opportunity to sit in front of a live audience in LA and say their part to Clayton who have now watched the entire season. The gist of the interviews is that there is no love lost between women and their exes. They were both furious when Clayton identified himself as Mr.Mulnerability, repeatedly throwing “honesty” around to justify telling all three women he loved them while being dishonest about the truth. It was true that his feelings for Susie were always the strongest. Both must have “Fuck him! Power girl! ” moment.

The episode could have and should have ended there, but the producers at ABC clearly got the wrong impression that anyone cared what happened to Clayton. Back in Iceland, the deeply regretful Clayton prepares to propose to Susie, inviting her to “the countryside” in a letter from Jane Austen-y in which he, the man, used the phrase “possibly possible.” possible” earlier in the episode, not writing at all. .

He begged her to give him another chance, and for a fleeting moment, it all seemed okay in the world. Susie turned down his offer to try to make things right and told him it was officially over. In the words of Jesse Palmer, “For the first time in history, our Bachelor was rejected on the last day and he ended up alone…”

“…or is it him?” Reader, he is not. In a sadly predictable twist, teased during the 78th hour of this disheartening finale, Susie showed up in the LA studio to confirm she’d slipped into Clayton’s DMs after filming. and the two are back together. She can only say the words “I love you” in a hilarious voice, and she almost faints at Jesse’s suggestion that Clayton propose right away, but either way, we I wish them the best.

In the end, Jesse decided to leave us some good news in the hopes that it would make us forget everything Clayton and the producers put us through this season. In a historic move, both Gabby and Rachel will be the frontrunners for the upcoming season of Bachelorette. Is not. Not now. Just enjoy watching these two lovely women embrace and enjoy the pleasure of standing up to their ex’s mutual stupidity. Happy Women’s History Month, xoxo, sadists at ABC!