Carolyn Hax: One job, one kid, no caregiver, and lots of advice on tone deafness

Dear Carolyn: I have a full time job, toddler, no babysitter. I’m hardly the first to point out how difficult things are right now. Apart from my husband, I talk to very few people about my difficulties, simply because there is so little time to TALK with anyone. But on the rare occasion that I do, I actually find it hard not to get furious at the suggestions these common soul mates make. My mom’s suggestion: “Just save all your work for after the kids go to sleep.” Let’s say I myself don’t need sleep at all and can somehow survive 20 hours of the day. My friend suggested: “Every parent knows suffering. Just don’t apologize for needing more time to work things out.” It is unrealistic that I still have personal standards, career goals and a boss who also cares if my work is not done or done poorly.