Carolyn Hax: Okay to see male friend and not tell jealous boyfriend?

The answer: For some people, it’s emotional what they know and subconsciously look for. For others, everything seems normal at first, then gets worse in such small increments – struggle here, accusation there, a “white light” lie to ignore. accusations and fights, a bigger lie to yourself that this is a healthy way to behave, a goofy but affectionate friend assuring you that “Relationships are hard work tough” — and you don’t even find yourself dating (and becoming) someone you don’t really like.