Carolyn Hax: How to reject the advances of a recently widowed friend?

Expensive Carolyn: Not too long ago, an previous faculty buddy misplaced his spouse to most cancers. He now says he needs us to be collectively, however I’m not . I’ve tried to deflect his advances to be good, however he’s very persistent. I do know he’s nonetheless hurting from his spouse’s passing and feels alone elevating three younger youngsters, so I wish to be form in my rejection. What do I say? How does one reject or break up with a wonderfully good particular person with out being hurtful, with compassion and kindness?