It’s a narrative. We like to inform ourselves tales. Perhaps extra correct: Our minds course of experiences as tales. We take random occasions and impressions — or shattering, heartbreaking ones — and filter, kind, therapeutic massage them into arcs that make sense to us. We additionally give testimony as “eyewitnesses” that’s typically rubbish, and tinker with our reminiscences a lot that many are fiction by the point we’re boring them into our grandkids. Writes Elizabeth Loftus, a psychologist and reminiscence professional: “[A] particular person’s perceptual and memorial methods don’t passively file and retailer info from the atmosphere. … Individuals are selective about what they take note of within the first place and selective about what they retailer in reminiscence, they usually differ within the extent to which they’re vulnerable to suggestion” (from her guide, “Eyewitness Testimony,” 1996 version; here’s her TED Talk).
https://www.washingtonpost.com/way of life/2021/10/10/carolyn-hax-first-love-second-guess-relationships/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=wp_lifestyle | Carolyn Hax: He was her past love, she was his second-guess