Carolyn Hax: Fiancee is on a collision course with his reactionary parents

They mentioned they wanted her to quit when we had kids. She calmly replied that the decision was up to her and me, but I knew she was spinning inside. These are not minor disagreements; They are choices in life, and I know it will lead to big problems in the future. She will play their game to a point. For example, after being scolded by my mother for helping me carry the bulk groceries (“because it’s a man’s job”), she never lifted more than what was on the table. I’ve talked to them about both of us being disrespectful and condescending, but I don’t know what else I can do.