“Big Brother” Kyle and Alyssa having sex on floats scarred me for life

I can’t imagine having sex in a pool.

I think it’s the vinyl of everything: the squeaks, the bumps, the way the plastic forcibly fuses into your skin. In my opinion, banging on a pool lounger between a water bed and gravel is in my ranking of the worst places to have sex. And yet, this season of Big Brother, two houseguests did just that: they made sweet, sweet love on a pool float. And in a wilder twist, they hope no one noticed.

I am a long time one Big Brother Beholder, though I crashed somewhere around 2013 during that one season when the houseguests got super racist (one contestant’s name was literally an anagram for Aryan). Then I picked up the long-running reality show again last season when The Cookout — an alliance of six black houseguests — banded together, reaching the final six and crowning the series’ first black winner. It was a poignant moment for the series, especially considering how few poignant moments come out of it Big Brother.

But this year we meandered back into the middle. The season began with a group of houseguests bullying a dark-skinned black woman, then corrected course when that season’s misfits formed an alliance against the house in what carries us to this day: the era of pool floatie sex.

The contestants, Kyle Capener and Alyssa Snider, are in their 20s and don’t seem to have the money to be on a show that streams 24/7. He looks like he’s in the real estate business. She looks like she probably has an Etsy shop. I refuse to go into that because with this show you have to draw boundaries at some point. In short, after a light kiss, the couple decided to end their summer romance in the penalty area of ​​all places. Each season the room has a different theme. This year, players sentenced to sleep there must do so on pool floats, using towels as blankets.

Sleep, shit, what have you got – Kyle and Alyssa made do with what they had. Apparently, Big Brother cut the feeds because ViacomCBS is not (yet) in the market of distributing found footage porn. But Alyssa leaked the information to the audience when she immediately went to another houseguest and asked him not to say anything – as if viewers weren’t just seeing the confession in real time.

I can’t stop thinking about this: not the towel-laden vinyl sex per se, but rather the decision-making and desire for privacy that comes with it.

To be clear, this is not the first time a couple has had any type of intercourse in the world Big Brother A house. I’m also not trying to shame anyone about sex; When two consensual adults want to have sex in a windowless room on a brightly colored inflatable butterfly, you have it. But I’m curious what the deliberation process was like, especially considering Alyssa and Kyle both seemed to want it kept secret.

Is this a problem that incredibly hot people have? When you can bounce a quarter off your own ass, does the rules of high society just feel beneath you? Does judgment fail when two 10s become 20s? just pretend my Sticking skin to vinyl in this awkward way? I should have eaten the whole pizza while watching Big Brother? My questions are endless.

But the bananiest question I have is, “What were they expecting?” Because in a recurring theme for this show, Kyle and Alyssa’s sentiment is as follows: I hope there is no impact on what I just did on one of the summer’s most popular TV shows.

More seriously, Kyle started it literally express this concern to the cameras. The timing is favorable considering it’s also just a few days after he was skewered on social media for attacking black players and consulting other white players over concerns that blacks might band together, to turn them off (despite little evidence of this). this theory). That’s a much more serious conversation for another day.

However, pool floatie sex is a perfect example of this conundrum of people doing outrageous things on camera despite their desire for privacy. Every summer a new kind of fuckery emerges Big Brother House guests, despite seasons of cautionary tales that have preceded them.

There are players who seem intent on playing the game, and then there are hardbodies who have a different agenda. I daresay these folks are looking for ways to trump the houseguests of years past. They see an inflatable watermelon in the corner covered with an old beach towel and they say, “This is my Camelot. There will never be another Camelot’, and they – I think that’s the medical term – take it to Pound Town.

Maybe moving here is just to own it. I don’t blame these people for finding pleasure within the confines of a reality show, but let’s not pretend we don’t know the consequences. I wouldn’t go to Olive Garden looking for a quesadilla and I wouldn’t go on Big Brother find me a moment

Similar to God or Santa Claus, Big Brother is always watching. Why are people shocked when they end up on the naughty list?