For context, I’ve always been a Shrek fan. I turn it on regularly as a means to regain my composure after a hard day. It has all the perfect distractions: a swamp elf, a donkey, a sexy Fairy Godmother, a seasoned Mike Myers voice — what more could you want?
But one night, when my girlfriend and I were sitting on the couch enjoying the movie, I found myself becoming… half-hearted, confused. Exactly about fifty-four minutes when Shrek transforms into Human Shrek. He wore a tight red velvet crop top that I couldn’t deny.
Shrek is an elf! Try to rationalize, I think. Elves from the swamp! I thought again. An ogre from the swamp got there somehow? left? I? no limit? wet?
The movie goes on and I can’t get Shrek out of my mind. As I watched him squirm under the Godmother’s ultimatum to stay away from Fiona, my pussy vibrated with anticipation and I started pulling at the hem of my girlfriend’s pants.
“Do you want to have sex now?” I asked her.
She looked at me with a smile, knowing full well that Shrek was the reason I felt the way I did. “We absolutely have to,” she agreed.
But before I dived into it, I told my girlfriend that we needed to wait until the best part of the movie came out: When the Fairy Godmother started her performance “Holding Out For a Hero” ”
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You see, I’ve been waiting for my chance all my life. Watching that scene as a kid, I remember feeling really weak in my knees when I saw Godmother’s breasts bouncing all over the place. That, plus her red dress, the music, the adrenaline, the rush, it was literally everything I needed and more. Call it cinematic history if you will—even other YouTube commenters agree YouTube.
So I know that if my partner and I will have a orgasm while watching Shrek 2, it should be in the moment. When we got to that part of the movie, my girlfriend and I sat watching TV completely transformed. It’s like our special edition of foreplay.
As soon as the first Godmother put on the piano, I pulled my girlfriend into my lap and started finger she paced to the beat of the music, putting her index finger in and out of me as the Fairy Godmother ran in place. (And yes, this music is the perfect tempo for a little finger smack.)
On screen, the Godmother’s sexy peaches bouncing up and down, possibly even challenging us. Then Shrek, with all his boyish nonsense, went fearlessly to save Fiona. (Yes, I may be a lesbian, but still very hot.)
Considering the scene lasted only four minutes and twelve seconds, I had to pick up the remote control to rewind about three different times until I was sure my girlfriend had an orgasm. Then it’s my turn.
As I put my girlfriend’s face into oblivion, I rewind one last time to the beginning as the Fairy Godmother sprawls on the piano showing her perfect clone. As she swayed her breasts here and there, I came and laughed louder, completely unstimulated by the raw sexual power of a cartoon drawing.
That was the closest I could come to God. And since we lost our deathShrek virginity, my girlfriend and I now pretty much have sex whenever it’s streaming in the background.
It’s like being our lil horn code. Like, “Hey, should we watch Shrek tonight? ” Shrek = sex and “Holding Out For a Hero” = an instant orgasm.
Now I know what you’re thinking and of course, there are more popular songs or movies out there to make love to. But only a weak point of view Shrek like an unwatchable movie. Try making love to it sometimes you’ll get what I mean.
Then thank me for the sexual awakening when you’re finished. You are welcome in advance.
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https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a37103320/best-sex-song-shrek/ | Best Sex Song Is ‘Holding Out for a Hero’ Shrek 2